Wow! It has been a crazy two months for me. When the summer ended, I wasn’t exactly sure what the Lord had in store for me, and here I sit less than a year away from my launch date!
Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to interview for a job at an organization serving at-risk children in my home town. Directing a pilot program at an elementary school; the job was perfect for me. For a few months, I shadowed the other directors, went through several rounds of interviews, and had long conversations about my passions, abilities, and resume. Getting the job would have been a natural transition from the ministry I was already working in at a management level, to running an entire program in a similar ministry. During the time of waiting, I prayed for God’s peace. I wanted to be okay with whatever answer I received.
The day I got the call, I believed that I wanted the job, but I trusted in God’s provision regardless. When my potential boss told me that were going with another candidate, I expected to be disappointed. Instead, I felt peace wash over my heart and mind. I knew that it was right for me not to get the job.
I returned to work the next day, determined to work hard. Time went by, I put my heart into my work even more than before, and watched for God to show me the next thing. I began to sense that God was preparing me to leave camp. I continued to feel at peace about where I was in life and in my job, but my heart began to feel anticipation for what the Lord would do next.
Throughout the summer months, I prayed for God to show me his plan for me. Over and over I felt him tell me, “just rest in my goodness and wait on my timing.” Friends, let me tell you something- I have never been especially good at waiting. I’m a ‘do-er’ and I like to know the plan and be moving toward a goal. Waiting in silence, sitting still in order to know what God was trying to teach me, did not come naturally to me. Through prayer and effort (and a lot of failure) I waited on my Father to reveal the next chapter.
God began to whisper about something to me: the World Race. The whispers came in the form of random emails to my inbox, people chattering about it on social media, friends (past/current racers) talking about it, and finally my online bible study leader talking about her own experience.
I am not someone who has ever had a passion for world missions. Don’t get me wrong, I knew that sharing the Good News with people across the globe is important, I just never felt especially called to pursue it. I also never had a burning desire to travel, until fairly recently. Again, not that traveling isn’t cool or beneficial for someone’s world view, just that I was comfortable and content exactly where I was.
So when God began to put the World Race into my line of sight, my reaction was resistant and slightly comical. I was so proud of myself for trusting and abiding in the Lord over the last several months, that I answered somewhat ignorantly. The conversation that took place with God and me reminds me of the one between Jesus and Peter in the book of John.
God presented the World Race to me and asked, “do you trust me?” (Jesus asking Peter, “do you love me?”) Peter and I both respond in partial astonishment, “Yes Lord, you know that I do. (read: how on earth could you think that I don’t!?)” God said, “then obey me and follow me.” Instead of obeying, I tucked my tail and turned away. “No way God. I trust you and I’ll follow…just not that.” Patiently, God put the World Race in front of me again and asked, “do you trust me?” and again I responded in the affirmative. God said “my child, obey me and follow me.” This time I responded with silence. I stopped talking to God, because in my mind, if the conversation wasn’t flowing he couldn’t keep asking me to do this crazy thing.
About this time in my back and forth with God, as I kept running away in fear, I went to church and saw a friend I hadn’t seen or spoken to in months. She had no way of knowing what I was struggling with in my walk with God. She told me that the Lord had put something on her heart that she felt she needed to talk to me about. My expression had to have been mixed parts horror and amazement as the next words out of her mouth were, “have you ever considered applying for the World Race?” How I left the conversation, I’m unsure, because my mind was a jumbled mess of trying to figure out all the seemingly unconnected pieces of my life. I walked away terrified but assured. I knew what God was asking and how I would respond this time.
Later that week, God once more asked me, “do you trust me, no matter what I ask of you and no matter where I take you?” With the hindsight of the entire last year of my life put together in a single story leading to the World Race, I responded in relieved obedience. “Yes Lord. I understand now, and I trust you. Here I am, send me.” And then God said, “apply for the World Race.” So that night, I submitted to my heavenly Father’s prompting and applied.
Since that day, life has been a blur of more waiting, celebration, and finally excited preparation. I wish I could say that I have been the shining picture of waiting well, strong faith, and perfect obedience, but it just wouldn’t be true. I am flawed and selfish and a sinner, but God chooses to use me anyway. I can’t wait to see what the next few months hold as I steadily move toward my launch date. I can’t even wrap my head around what God will do in the year to follow that. I’m so excited for you to be on the journey with me!
This post officially kicks off my fundraising! Some of you already have a support letter on the way. If anyone would like to receive a letter, let me know either in a comment here, on facebook, or by text and I’ll gladly add you to the list! Thank you for being part of my story and for the love and support you’ve already given me. Things are about to get really fun!
