I’m going to say it upfront. Training camp was everything I expected it to be. Besides the lack of time to spend time with God individually it was filled from top to bottom with exploring God together. Let’s just say it was very uncomfortable with many situations changing, different scenarios given, lack of sleep, eating food that isn’t the norm, taking bucket showers, and not using a normal bathroom.
Here is what a typical day looked like at training camp.
7:00am workout with your squad
8:30am breakfast with your squad
9:15am Session –trainings and messages by speakers
11:00am Team time- put in a scenario or did training specific to our route
12:30pm Lunch with squad
1:15pm Session – more information and training
4:00pm Meet at campsite- given sleeping scenario
5:15pm Dinner with Squad
6:30pm Session – Teaching and Training, worship sometimes
9:00pm Squad time- get ready for sleeping scenario
10:30pm Bedtime if you could get there
12:00am Actual bedtime
What I learned is that there was no way to get to bed early. There was always something going on. Our sleeping scenarios always affected our sleep. Whether it was staying in a fake airport with loud airport music cycling through, or if it was someone loosing his or her bag for the night, it all affected our sleep. Personally I averaged about 5 hours a night with a couple nights only getting 3 hours. However, God was the comfort, strength and energy I needed to maintain a positive attitude
I really learned a lot about God, my Team, and myself here at training camp and that is what I feel I am supposed to share.
- Is always doing something and I need to be willing to ask Him how I can partner with Him on what He is doing.
- Is always saying something I just need to listen and obey
- Is the one who put the “yes” in my spirit. Whether that’s the “yes” of going on the world race, or “yes” to praying for someone at the bank, it’s the “yes” that is prompted by the Holy Spirit.
- Desires for me to follow Him whole heartedly with complete trust as well as those who He places in authority
- Desires for us to experience His power so we can share it with others
- Calls people way in advance to get them where they are supposed to be in the present
- Is always confirming what He is saying whether that is through other people, through His Word, of through the most random circumstances.
- Knows the exact situations we need to be placed in to grow and they are normally not ones that are comfortable for us.
- Desires intimacy as we desire intimacy
- Created man and women equally and as believers we have the same calling of making disciples and to live in community with each other and build each other up.
- He wants to recognize what He has done in our lives
- He made a promise to Abraham that could never be broken and it was sealed with Jesus!
Team
My team is seriously awesome! I can see how God has knit it together so uniquely. There are so many different gifts and talents that will be used for expanding the Kingdom!
I have had the privilege of getting to know my team individually, within groups, and as a whole. These people that God has placed here have given me their “yes” to live dead to their selves in order to serve their team and the people around them, just as I have given my “yes” to them.
I realized from training camp that in the midst of discomfort I needed to take the focus off of me and put others first. This was difficult for me the first couple of days, but as I was reading my Bible and having conversations with my team I realized how important my team really is. I realized in my mind I was constantly thinking about me and it was blinding me from helping or encouraging others around me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but ultimately it was good because it cut even more of my pride away. My team needs to come first and that means sacrificing for them, serving them, and loving them as best as I can.
Through the thick and thin I trust them. I have only known them for 10 full days, but I know they have my back and I have theirs. I will fight for my new family. I will extend grace for shortcomings and we will work together to push each other to do ministry while we are overseas.
Overall, I’m blessed by my team and I want to encourage you to support them as you support me. Whether that is through prayer or through finances they need it just as much as I do.
myself
I have learned a lot about myself too. I am going to break it down into my wounds, my comfort, and my healing.
My wounds.
God has revealed that I have wounds, wounds that go down deep. Wounds that I didn’t think I had. I learned that in order to be healed you have to first recognize where you have pain. So this training camp I dove even deeper into my pain.
Within the first 3 days God revealed to me that I had a wound of abandonment. There was one day at lunch at training camp where everyone on my squad sat down at a table. There were 8 to a table and 25 people on my squad. That means there were 3 full tables with one person left over. As you could guess, I was that one left out. When that happened, the lies started coming into my head “see you are all alone again.”, “You will always be left behind”, “No one really notices you.”, “If you were gone, no one would miss you.” Crazy to think in a simple situation like that the evil one can through out such lies.
The very next session was dealing with pain. We were required to go out and sit in our pain for an hour. It was hard but God revealed it clearly and rapidly. From there I got to speak truth over my life again and ask for brothers to come and pray with me for that wound so that it would not be a foothold for the devil.
Over the course of training camp, God also revealed the wounds of unforgiveness and feedback. How he raveled the unforgivenss one as I realized that I never offered full forgiveness to the offenses given to me. It was like there was like the person I said I forgave would still make me mad and irritate me. Regardless, I needed to continue to forgive and choose not to let them irritate me.
Lastly, my wound of receiving negative feedback in a unloving way. Many times in my life I have been scolded for mistakes I have made even for the ones I couldn’t see. This wound started at a young age getting yelled at for putting my hands on walls. I know that may sound dumb, but the devil used it as a way to never want feedback in my life. During training camp one day three different men came to me at different times to give me feedback about the same detail. After the 3rd time I was like, come on really? Crazy how the next session we had the next day was on feedback. I realized I had a wound there that I never thought I had. So after the session I grabbed those three men who confronted me, brought them in and had them pray over me for healing of that wound of feedback. It’s amazing to see how God works in ways that are always one step ahead of where I’m at.
My Comfort
My comfort was tested over training camp. The first day I was setting up my tent and I remember thinking to myself “Can I actually do this for 11 months.” Reality sunk in for the first time. I realized how much I enjoy being clean, having a place to keep my belongings, having bathrooms, and getting a bag of popcorn and putting it in the microwave when I a hungry. Ultimately, because of the uncomfortable situation, I realized that God is my comfort and often times he would bring someone or something into the situation to show me everything was going to be just fine. It was also a time where I could invite God into my uncomfortable places.
I also realized that my comfort zone is being the leader. Being the one that people look to for inspiration, direction, guidance, advice, or spiritual wisdom. I realized that what is even more uncomfortable for me is to step back to let others lead. Through processing this out I realized how God took me and qualified me, yet He is working to qualify everyone on my team to lead. At the beginning of training camp I believe I was supposed to lead in this way, but now God has revealed that I am supposed to lead by showing the example of following Jesus daily and trusting the leadership to placing the right people in leadership that I may be able to do ministry affectively wherever I am at. And for me that is a bit uncomfortable.
The prayer that one of our squad leaders, Shannon, has been praying for our squad is “LORD make us more than uncomfortable.” I see this is a huge opportunity for growth in my own life and to understand others who are less fortunate than myself. This has become my prayer as well. I have a desire to have my comforts taken away so that Jesus may take that place and that others may know that He is enough!
My Healing
Healing is something that I have experienced a lot of in my life. Whether it’s healing from injuries, emotional pain, or even from past wounds and mistakes. However, what I realized from camp is God always wants to be our healing. He wants to reveal those things we are struggling with and the pain of heartache so we can pray through those wounds with other brothers and sisters in Christ.
This trip my healing came in different ways. One of the ways it came was through asking for forgiveness. Over the course of time I realized I had an incorrect perception and my pride took control and I had to ask multiple people for forgiveness. I realized more of how God uses forgiveness to heal us. He also took my wounds and showed me ways I operate in fear. I realized one of the most loving things we can do for people is to pray for them! Even if healing doesn’t come in the way we expect it, God uses praying for healing to start at the healing we most desperately need which is healing in our heart.
Overall, my training camp was filled with many learning opportunities. I feel empowered and more excited to share the gospel. I’m blessed to be able to serve and live intentionally wherever I am at. Thank you for praying with me through training camp!
