“Tonight is probably going to be pretty shocking for you if you’ve never done any type of homeless ministry before. There are going to be people smoking crack right in front of you. Most likely there will be girls walking around, trying to sell themselves.”
These were the words that started off our ministry meeting that night.
Minutes after wrapping up a service filled with homeless people and recovering drug addicts singing about the blood of Jesus changing their lives, we were turning around to go right back out into the darkest, messiest part of the city. The very part of the city that most of the people in that church service had come from in the days, weeks, and months before.
Agua Panela y Pan is one of the many ministries that Fundacion Ciudad Refugio offers on a weekly basis. Every Wednesday, people load up a truck with warm sugar water and freshly baked bread to hand out to the people living on the streets. While that is going on, other people (aka me and my team) walk around and look for people to talk to.
When we got to the street, my jaw literally dropped. There were, no exaggeration, hundreds of people lining this one strip of road. It was dark. People were huddled under blankets, others were carrying around trash bags filled with who knows what. Almost every person I saw had a small glass pipe in one hand and a small baggie of drugs and a lighter in the other. Women were walking around in crop tops and cut off shorts; so obviously flaunting their bodies.
Me and two of my teammates broke off from the group and started walking around. Immediately I was drawn to a young girl in a pair of jean shorts and a hoodie. The tips of her hair were dyed blue, and she was wearing heavy amounts of eye makeup.
From the basic amounts of Spanish that I can speak and understand, I learned her name, although for the purposes of this blog I will refer to her as C, that she’s 18 years old and has an 8 month old baby. Another girl walked by in similar clothing, and I asked if she was her friend. C corrected me, saying that the other girl was actually her girlfriend. She was starting to get annoyed at my lack of communication skills, so I asked if I could pray for her and after thanking the Lord for the time we were able to spend with her, my friends and I walked away.
Later that evening as we were walking back toward the van, I saw C and her girlfriend again. I smiled at them and they both waved back. ‘What the heck,’ I thought, ‘I’ll just try and go chat with them one more time.’
Once again, through my broken Spanish, I learned C’s girlfriends name, we’ll call her D, and that she is 20 years old. She met C while she was 2 months pregnant and took her in. D asked us if we were from the United States and said that she wanted to travel there to get a job and make lots of money. She told me that she finished high school, but hasn’t been able to go to college.
At that point a guy walks up to D & C and says something in Spanish. As if it’s the most normal thing in the world, D pulls out a slip of pills, breaks one off, and hands it to the guy. Simultaneously, C is giving him a ‘handshake’, aka, exchanging money. Just so casually, dealing drugs.
Just as we started talking a little bit about Jesus, it was time to leave. I told D & C that we were coming back next week and would love to see them. D looks at us and says, ‘adios, mis amores’, which means ‘bye my loves’. I walked away feeling heartbroken for these girls. I walked away wishing that there was more I could have done for them.
Fast forward one week to yesterday. We were once again getting ready to head out to the streets. All day I had been praying that the Lord would allow us one more encounter with these girls. All day I was praying that the Lord would show up for them in such a real and tangible way. All day I was anticipating these 45 minutes of ministry.
Once again we arrived at the street. Once again my senses were bombarded with the sights, smells, and feelings. After a prayer I grabbed Gabbie, Jackie, and Lindsay, and set off to find our girls. By God’s grace, we found D & C right away. They were sitting on a curb with a bigger guy (we are guessing a higher up boss in their drug dealing business) with a couple people crowded around them. Once those ‘meetings’ had wrapped up, I walked up with a big smile on my face. D recognized us right away and greeted us with a huge smile on her face. We chatted for a couple minutes and then, through the amazing translation of Jackie, we told D that it was our last time coming out to the streets. We asked if we could pray for her before we left.
I sat down on the curb next to D and grabbed her hand. I prayed and thanked God that He saw her. I thanked Him that no matter where we are in our lives we are never alone. I asked God to show up big in her life, and to make a way for all of her biggest dreams to come true.
I don’t know how else to explain my emotions at this point other than that I truly and deeply loved this girl. I saw a broken girl just trying to make a way for herself in the world. I saw someone who just wanted someone to see her for more than a street girl or a drug dealer.
After I finished praying, Gabbie said that she had gotten a vision for D. She described D in a field full of wildflowers dancing with Jesus. Then Jesus led her to a fork in the road, and told her that one way looked really good. It was the life that she is living now; filled with drugs, parties, and the life with her girlfriend. Gabbie told her that this life looks good but in the end leads to death. The other way is a life lived with the Lord. This way won’t be easy. But the Lord wanted to walk this way with her; He was giving her the opportunity to choose.
This whole time D was holding my arm. I looked at her and tears were welling up in her eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder the last time that someone had taken the time to actually see her. But that night, we saw her–God saw her.
. . .
We walked away after that and my heart was broken in so many different ways. I just wanted to cry.
In that moment, the Lord gave me these verses:
Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them. -Psalm 126:6-7
So I’m clinging to these verses as the days pass. I’m praying these back to the Lord as a declaration of His promises. I’m believing that even if I don’t get to rejoice with D in this life, I’ll be singing songs of joy with her in the next.
Please join me as I continue to pray for D, C, & all the girls in the same situation.
