“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.”
– Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
I have a love/hate relationship with the month of April. The weather is beautiful, which means my allergies are roaring. School is almost over (and this year graduation adds to that excitement), but all the assignment deadlines are like tomorrow. These make for typical April things that I have known all my life, but this April I’m preparing for the Race. I have fundraising deadlines, training camp preparations, and vaccines to get! I very much underestimated the amount of pressure the month of April would hold for me.
The stress bubbled up near my breaking point this past weekend. I spent a lot of time in prayer, I knew I needed it. But, in all honesty, I had a hard time feeling Christ. This might sound odd to some, but typically when I spend time in the word or in prayer, I feel the Lord easing my worries or claiming my doubts. He is a good Father. But this weekend, my anxiety was strong and my fear was clouding the touch I usually feel from God. It was a bit disheartening.
On Sunday, I had the opportunity to share the World Race with Canopy Church of Camdenton, Mo. Canopy was certainly a highlight of my high school years, but since moving away for college, I rarely visit. But like I said, God is so good. I was welcomed back into the family like an old friend. The presence of other believers and talking about a mission I love so dearly shattered the separation I was feeling from God.
I later realized that I, again, was trying to go at it alone. Yes, I was giving my worries up to the Lord through prayer, but I did not have any Christian fellowship or community to work through it with. It was a lesson. Over the past few months, I have been working diligently on my personal relationship with the Lord. This is where I feel Him and speak things through in my quiet time, but it was like He said “You have done well, but you also need fellowship. Be obedient and reach out to your Christian community.” Okay. First of all, I LOVE hearing from Him. I now speak to God as easily as I speak to my mother. And me and my mom are super tight. However, I wasn’t quite expecting Him to push me to reach out further. Though it does give me confidence in the personal relationship I have developed with our Father. This is my next step while growing in grace, to be more diligent about reaching out to my christian community.
This blog is part of me doing just that!
So here are a few updates and prayer requests:
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I am still short of our first required fundraising goal of $5,000. Will one my readers help me get there??
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I graduate from college in less than 4 weeks and am moving back to Colorado to live with my parents for the summer. There is so much wrapped up in that statement that needs prayer…
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I still have moments of anxiety about reaching the final $17,000 fundraising goal. Please pray that I can remain bold in my faith and rely on the Lord to provide. This is a daily battle.
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Please keep my squad in your prayers as well. We are all preparing for the Kingdom Journey and all have our individual battles to face. Also, our number of racers for this route is a little low, please pray that those called to this journey may find their way to our route, Lord willing!
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
