Things you need to know about teaching preschool in Honduras:
Classroom management- not a thing here.
These kids will flip their lids for some good ol head shoulders knees and toes!
You will be known as ”Miss.” That‘s it.
You need to know the words “chocolate” and “poop” in spanish and how to tell the difference between the two at a safe distance.
Kids will stick their heads under the stalls in the bathrooms just to say “hola” to you.
The kids will ask you all the questions.. in Spanish.. while their Spanish-speaking teacher is sitting right next to you.
The teacher will then laugh at you continuously saying “what?” and “I don’t understand” in Spanish and then trying to answer said question.
English class is really just the kids trying to sound the letter “B” out as “bee” instead of “bae.”
In Honduras preschoolers are allowed to use microwaves by themselves at lunch time. They use them for food… and other things like crayons and dolls and things that spark.
Don’t use the microwaves for your own food. Ever.
Kids that throw up do not go home from school. They usually come back to class and sit on your lap. (Vitamins are your friend.)
If you lose your iPhone in class, check the pants of the kid that has to sit by himself first. Not the pocket.. the pants.
Don’t let them have sharpies. Your whiteboard will thank you later.
Your lunch is not off limits to sticky hands and little mouths that gobble things up.
The kids will believe your shirt is an acceptable replacement for a napkin, a tissue, and a canvas.
Shoes are optional in class. And out of class.
Some preschoolers in Honduras know how to say curse words in English…
If you see a child doing something hilarious but bad, don’t laugh. They’ll think you love it and keep doing it. Every day.
The teacher will let you teach any subject. And by “let” I mean “will want you to.” Things like light energy and photography are not excluded.
Don’t underestimate the soccer skills of a preschooler. You can/will get your butt kicked by a 4 year old.
Coke bottles can explode if dropped at just the right angle from the average height of a preschooler.
Some preschoolers in Honduras keep pepto-bismol in their backpacks. And sometimes it explodes because it gets too hot.
You can never be hugged too many times.
Preschoolers think rosaries are an acceptable weapon of choice.
Honduran preschoolers do not take naps. But they should.
Table flipping is one of the kids favorite subjects.
Pantsing is a common form of preschool hazing.
If you have a nose ring, be prepared for it to be touched/jammed into your nose at least 8 times a day.
Each kid will have scissors. Don’t let them near you when they’re holding them.
They will fight over who gets to sit in your lap. Their teacher will do nothing to help you as their fist fight comes close to your face.
If you read one book, get ready to read 20 more.
You will probably never feel more loved by a bunch of kiddos. And you’ll never have more fun doing simple things.
Teaching preschool in Honduras has been one of the hardest, funniest, and most stretching things I’ve ever done! Here’s to 3 more weeks!
