As I write this, I’m sitting in vomit.
Let me back up a bit.
I’m teaching preschool this month! And it’s been awesome so far. My days have been full of finger paints, interesting smells, and sticky hands all over me. Loving on little ones makes me so happy and gives me so much joy!
Today there was a little one in my class who just couldn’t stop crying. I asked her teacher what was going on and all she said was “She just wants to go home.”
This little girl with her weepy, big, brown eyes looked up at me and stretched out her arms. She just wanted to be held. So up she came into my arms and immediately stopped crying. She laid her head on my shoulder and I rubbed her back while I walked around helping other students with their english homework.
And then I felt it.
I felt my ankle length skirt sticking to my legs. I felt something wet and warm all over my backside and my legs. And I felt this little girl‘s belly rumbling on my chest.
She puked all over me.
I can’t think of a worse thing on a hot, muggy, Honduras day than being covered in vomit.
I lifted her off of me and held her over a trash can while she vomited. All the while I was gagging, my eyes were watering, and I was trying not to breathe or think about the warm wet stuff on my feet and legs.
Finally she stopped and looked up at me with those big brown eyes again, begging to be held.
Let me just start by saying that I consider myself to be compassionate and empathetic. Those are just gifts that I carry. But this… this was almost too much.
I wanted nothing to do with this child. She smelled of vomit. She had it all over her hands and shirt and in her hair. She was leaking snot and tears everywhere.
And then Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “Remember all those times you came to the Lord wet with tears, covered in your own mess, just wanting to be held?“
Dang.
So up she came into my arms again and I walked her to the nurses office while she whimpered on my shoulder. I got to pray over her and sing over her as we walked. I got the blessing of providing comfort to a little one who was feeling hopeless and broken. A little one who was desperate for affection, even in her mess.
The Lord used a pukey, weepy, snotty little girl to teach me what it really means to wrap someone up in love. To meet someone where they’re at, even if it’s in their mess. He’s done it for me countless times, and won’t stop no matter how big my mess is.
What a a blessing it was for me to get to wrap little Gloria up in my arms today. Despite the puke. Despite the snot. Despite the tears.
After dropping her her at the nurses office, I went to my teammate Taylor and asked for her help to attempt to clean off my skirt a bit in the sink.
We stood there holding my skirt and waving it around to help it dry a little faster, and I laughed and asked her “Tay, how did we get here? How did we get to a place where we’re cleaning puke off of us?”
And she said, “We said yes to Jesus.”
Mmm. That’s a good word.
Saying yes to Jesus won’t always be fun and it won’t always end up how you want it to or even expect it to. Sometimes you’ll come out clean. Sometimes you’ll come out a mess.
But both are blessings because they came from saying yes to Jesus and only good can come from that.
I’m embracing the mess today. Saying yes to Him. And hopefully becoming more like Jesus in the process.
