Sylvia, do you trust me?
This seems to be a reoccurring question from the Lord along this journey. In preparation for the race this question came in response to my fear and uncertainty about leaving my teaching career and in support raising $17,000. At the beginning of the race it came in response to the anxious feelings about living in community and the doubts and fears that I wouldn’t be seen, valued, or heard. It came in response to the uncertainty of what would be ahead and the fear that I was not qualified enough. Throughout the race it’s come in response to the fears of stepping into new things. Before the risks that the Lord as asked me to take. It’s come in the midst of the joys and trials of living this lifestyle and living in community. And while I would love to be able to answer, “Yes. Always. I trust the Lord without a doubt of His faithfulness in every circumstance,” I think the fact that this question comes up so often speaks to the fact that I don’t always trust Him as much as I’d like to think I do. This last month was a testament to that and was such a growing month in this area of my relationship with the Lord.
This last month, our route was scheduled to be in Macedonia. Instead, it was an “Ask the Lord” month, which meant that each team got to pray about where they felt the Lord was calling them. Instead of having lodging, ministry, and hosts lined up for us by AIM, we were given our budget and guidelines and through prayer and working together had to figure those things out and trust that the Lord would lead the way. While I was excited about the possibilities of the month, I was a little anxious about what the month would look like. What if we all hear different things from the Lord? What if I don’t hear anything at all? What if we don’t find places to stay or ministry to do? These were all questions that I had in my mind and once again, the Lord stopped me and said, “Sylvia…do you trust me?” And in that moment I had to let go of my expectations, my fears, and take a moment to remember all that the Lord had already done and His promises. Of course, I shouldn’t have been worried. The month was amazing and played out in ways that ONLY the LORD could have orchestrated. Here’s a breakdown of what the month looked like:
Week 1: Our team felt called to Kosovo. We felt that it would be a month of rest, personal and team ministry/healing, a split month where we wouldn’t be one place for long, and that we would encourage believers. So we picked a place in Kosovo that had housing that met our budget and away went. We ended up in Boge- a small ski town in the mountains. Our original housing did not work out, but it led to us meeting a Muslim family that we got to spend a lot of time with and that became fast friends. In Boge we rested and spent a lot of time with the Lord, it was a season of rejuvenation and healing that a lot of us needed. The Lord showed up in HUGE ways which included under-budget housing, a free hour ride into town to get groceries (there were no stores in this town), and the contact information for someone at our next destination. It was 10 days of seeking the Lord and being met with His presence.
Week 2: The owner of the cabins that we stayed at was talking to Paige and hearing about what we were doing. He then offered us the number of a Christian bakery in Peja (the town at the bottom of the mountains). In contacting the manager there, we found out that the bakery had closed, but were put into contact with the missionary couple who owned it. They welcomed us in like family. We stayed in Peja for 5 days and basically lived at their home. They cooked all of our meals and made sure to bless us with things that we missed from home. We were able to help them clean out their bakery, pack up things in their home, and just encourage them in fellowship. They also run a jalapeño export and we were able to be an answer to prayer for one of their farmers by weeding his field. The 5 days here were filled with blessings for us that we felt unworthy of, but also allowed us to encourage and see the perfect ways that God places and uses us in His perfect timing.
Week 3: The family in Peja knew a local Christian woman in Pristina (the capital, and our next destination) who ran a café and student center. We were able to spend a week with her in her home free of charge. We helped out in the bakery by baking, doing dishes, making coffee, painting signs, etc. We got to befriend the workers and get to know them. We helped her with taking care of her daughter and were able to just pour out encouragement and fresh vision for this dream of hers. This week was one that was busy and full, but showed us how important community and having others come alongside you is.
Week 4: We ended the month with a week in Thessaloniki, Greece. We had saved up our off days, so most of our time here was spent exploring and resting. However, we did do random acts of kindness for Allison’s 23rd birthday which included things like people handing out water, taking pictures for tourists, giving balloons to kids, etc. We ended the week with a free prayer and worship session at the fountain in the center of town. This month helped us get ready for Month 8 and reminded us to be bold and do things that scare us (like worship/prayer in public) for the Lord and see how He meets us.
“Ask the Lord” month felt like such a whirlwind of people and places, but it was so filling. We all learned to really seek the Lord’s guidance and got a glimpse of what that will look like once we end the race. It reminded us of how faithful He is and it showed us how big the kingdom family really is and how connected we can be.
This last month far exceeded my expectations and deepened my trust and expectation of the Lord to show up. I enter these next few months of my race with eager anticipation of what He will do and a heart that is more willing and more at peace in giving Him FULL control. At this phase in the race a lot of thoughts, fears, and just questions about the future start to fly through my brain and I am again met with the question, “Sylvia, do you trust me?” But that question is no longer as scary and my answer is not as hesitant. I’ve seen what He can and will do if I’m willing to say “yes”- even if that’s with my voice quavering and knees shaking. He faithfully blesses the obedience and willingness EVERY TIME. Looking back to the ways that He answered my willingness to say “Yes, I trust you,” in preparation and throughout the race has me looking forward with an even deeper “yes” in my spirit. So, “Yes, Lord. I trust you. Pave the way.”
UPDATE: We’ve just entered MONTH 8, our last month in Europe! My team is now in Vidin, Bulgaria. Updates about our ministry to come soon!
