The little things? The little moments? –they aren’t little.
Since last February, I’ve been looking at the number 17,000 and letting it cause doubt and nervousness. Wondering where in the world that money was going to come from. Feeling bad about asking other people for money, but knowing that I couldn’t do it alone. I wasn’t meant to. God has shown me that over and over throughout this year. And while I haven’t necessarily enjoyed the support-raising process, I have enjoyed the seemingly little moments and huge lessons that the Father has been teaching me through it.
Since the beginning, I’ve been praying for funds to come in. It was actually the top thing that made be doubt even applying. Even bigger prayers were said that it would come in before I launch in January. I’d be lying if I said I never doubted that this would happen. In truth, I’ve sometimes limited my prayers. I’ve seen other squadmates receive huge blessings and while I was truly excited and joyful for them, sometimes it’d cause me to question my own funds. God is blessing them-totally confirming his calling for them to go, are you actually meant to go?. You should be doing more-you must be doing something wrong for you to not have those moments. And while I was praying for big moments and big donations, God was and is fulfilling my prayers little by little- penny by penny, and I’ve been guilty of ignoring it because I was looking for something “big” and extravagant. This theme has come up within the last month or so in relation to listening to the Holy Spirit- which will be another blog- but I was convicted of this in relation to support raising a few weeks ago when a thousand little things happened at once and I made space to reflect on all the little moments God has so graciously orchestrated since February.
About a month ago, a man who has very little and really doesn’t know me handed my mom $5 to donate to my trip. When asked if he could spare that $5, he shrugged and said it was for a good cause. He may not have had $5 to spare, but he was moved to give it, so he did. How humbling to me and such a reminder that it’s not about me. That $5 will help bring God’s glory around the world and is worth much more than I can put words to.
Throughout the year, I’ve had multiple people who just keep on giving. Some that know me well, others that don’t. Many of these people are not people who know me well or see me often. Most of them do not have a lot to spare. I’ve seen so many generous souls and have seen confirmation in this calling through them. They’ve provided encouragement and lifting of my spirits in times that I doubted the money would come. They’ve helped in whatever ways they can through funds, helping hands, and encouraging words. They’ve helped demonstrate what community looks like.
Some of my biggest supporters are not even believers. What? Why would they give? I’ve seen what it means to give and to love through their support and encouragement when they can’t even really understand why I’d do this. God has orchestrated their giving, even if they don’t completely understand that. Through them, I’ve seen what opportunity there is in my own backyard. Will they come to know Christ through following and coming alongside this journey? I don’t know, but I’ll sure be praying for God to continue to move in their lives.
A couple of weeks ago, I got the opportunity to speak to the youth group at my home church. I do not know most of the youth in the group, but that group was where my journey with Christ started, so it was such a privilege to get to share what He has done in my life and this next step he had called me to. Being there, I remembered where I started and was reminded of God’s goodness and how far he’s brought me. I got to see youth on fire for God. Youth that know how to do community. I got to see teenagers that God will continue to use and to rise up for his Kingdom. It was such a privilege. One that God used to remind me that everyone has a story and everyone’s story matters.
The following weekend, I had a Trivia Night event to help raise support. At this event, there were many people who know me and have known about this trip for a while. There were also a few groups of people who do not know me and found out about this trip that night. One of those ladies came up and handed me $100. ”$17,000 is not that much money to live on for a year and I want to make sure you have more than enough.” I had no idea who this lady was, but she had just been such a blessing. Not even the money, but having someone led to come up and talk to me and show so much excitement about the trip without any connection to me, was just more confirmation about me going and another glimpse at the influence it can have across the globe, but also here in my own backyard. Upon me telling her she was such a blessing, her response was, “No. You’re the blessing. I won’t ever get to go across the ocean, but I can go through you. You get to go and we get to follow the journey.” Again. It’s not about me.
These moments are just the most recent and the ones that really made me stop and look at what God’s done. They made me still enough to hear God saying “Look. You’re waiting for your prayers to be answered and they have been. I will not break my promise. I’ve got this. Trust me. Really trust me. Support raising is not about you. Let me lead this.”
I’d been saying I trusted him. But really, I was waiting to see his promises fulfilled before I gave up any anxiety or doubt about finances. That’s not trust. He has continued to provide finances and I’ve met all of my deadlines early. He’s provided over $12,000 through you all. He’s provided such a generous and encouraging support system. But I was still subconsciously doubting. He used this series of “small” moments to wake me up and to make me take notice. We are called to live by faith, not sight. He’s a good Father, and he will provide.
Thank you all for the ways in which you’ve partnered with me in this trip. For every penny, every encouraging word, and every prayer has meant the world. There is no way that this would be possible without you, and I wouldn’t want to do it alone. This trip is your trip just as much as it is mine, and I cannot wait to see the ways that God continues to move this year in your life and mine.
It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day moments and to be waiting for the “big” moment or fulfillment to prayer. In doing so, we lose sight of the “little” moments and the fact that God is with us daily in those moments- we just have to pay attention. Join me in seeking him daily and opening our eyes to the ways in which he works, even in the smallest of ways. Whatever you’ve been praying for- trust that He will provide and that He is orchestrating it even as we speak. Look around and observe the ways He is bringing it all together.
New Ways to Support Me! 🙂
1. Letters- I’ve always loved and cherished people’s words. I’d love for you to partner with and support me by writing a letter or card that I can take around the world with me. These can be “open when..” type letters for specific circumstances, letters to open in certain countries, or just random letters to open whenever I choose. It would be such a blessing to have encouraging words from those that I love to open across the globe, especially on difficult days. If you are interested in writing a letter, just let me know and I’ll get you my address. All letters would need to be mailed to me by Christmas to ensure that I get it and can pack it before I leave in January.
2.Adopt-A-Block: Choose a block and adopt that amount! Five random blocks come with a prize. 🙂 To donate, click donate on the blog, mail me or AIM a check, or find me in person.
3. Adopt-A-Day:
Want to follow along with my journey? Hit SUBSCRIBE! It will just ask you for your email and you will be notified of any new updates while I’m on the field. I won’t always be able to post them on facebook and I will need your prayers, so follow along with me! I’d also LOVE comments. They will provide need encouragement as well as offer a way for you to let me know any prayer requests that you may have!
I am only $4,000 away from being FULLY FUNDED. Your support has been phenomenal and I cannot thank you enough. If you’d like to partner with me in this mission financially, click DONATE. I’d love to be fully funded before I launch, so that I can fully focus and engage in ministry on the field!
