I’ll be totally honest, the World Race hasn’t been quite what I expected. I had many pre-conceived notions about the Race, such as how it will look from day to day, and what awesome things will happen. I thought it was going to be an always “upwards” journey from the deepest, darkest pits of my life. I thought it would be perpetually fun, and when horrible things happened it would be okay because we were in cool places with solid people. I thought the squad and I would be best friends forever, and that we would always be looking out for each other in every moment of our lives. The reality is, the World Race is really hard!!!!
While some of the things mentioned above have happened, the polar opposites of those things have happened more. It has actually been more of a “backwards” journey than anything, into the deep, dark pits. It isn’t always fun, and sometimes you’re hurting so bad that you’re numb to the scenery around you. Some people on the squad are a little difficult live with sometimes (as we all invariably are to at least one person), and they don’t always recognize or acknowledge your hurt. It has been an awesome journey so far, don’t get me wrong, but it has been awesome in that it has been really, really hard.
To be honest though, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I go backwards to the deep, dark pits of my life to acknowledge they exist, so that I can later move forward in healing, forgiveness, and freedom. It’s not always fun, but it pushes me to make an effort nonetheless to do the best job I can despite not “feeling it”. Horrible things do happen, and unfortunately scenery is not the best medicine, but God is. I am left with no other option but to retreat into His arms when things go south. The squad is indeed uber close, but they still have hurt me, let me down, annoyed me, and discouraged me. I am not defeated though (nor do I dislike anyone, so don’t worry Gap J folks), I am simply left with no choice but to depend on the LORD, and not on people.
I am learning that the LORD actually cares a lot about me, and that is why I am suffering. Suffering brings about growth, and the idea that I am going through that right now is a blessing. It shows that the LORD cares about who I become, and it shows me that He has a plan for my life that is higher than what I could have done had I not suffered.
I have been reminded what James said in James 1:2-3,12; “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness… Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”
And what Paul said in 2nd Corinthians 1:5-6; “For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.”
Note: Don’t think my time in Portoviejo has been totally miserable, because it most certainly hasn’t! We are a part of a solid community that loves us, cares for us, and encourages us. Obviously those feelings and actions are mutual. We love it here! From our Life Groups (Bible Study small groups), to our host’s in-laws, to our hosts; we feel so at home and loved by everyone. Ministry is pretty rad too!
