Fear. It either cripples us or becomes our motivation to overcome. We are confronted with it wherever we go. Daily.
I was recently contacted by a future Racer who wanted my perspective. Once we arranged a time to talk, she told me about some fear that she had acquired. Ironically enough, the issue is one that has been on my heart that I hope that I can help to end in future racers.
This fear is that you are going to get sent home from Training Camp or The Race.
Let’s be real. Every racer experiences this fear at some point along the way. Either they aren’t behaving the way they think they are expected to act or they’ve done something “questionable” or a squad leader wants to talk to them and the thought crosses their mind. What I’m trying to say here is, it’s not unexpected to have this fear creep in at some point.
The enemy will try any and every tactic to place fear into your life and this is one of the most common ways on this adventure.
It creates fear of authority (possibly triggering past abuses of power). It makes you question the motives and integrity of the organization itself (maybe it’s all a lie and they are just trying to get money). It makes you question everything you do (maybe someone is out their keeping a record of your wrongs and eventually it’s going to add up to a big return to sender stamp). This fear can even transform into an even bigger attack of identity (this thing you put your time and thoughts and preparation into could be taken from you… leading to a big “now what?!”).
All of these things serve to turn your focus from what you are actually on the race for.
Jesus.
But, I’m not here to preach at you right now. I do, however, want to speak some truth into this lie, this fear.
Yes. People get sent home from the Race or asked to defer. Does it happen extremely often, I don’t think so. I won’t claim to be an expert. I only know what I have experienced and seen.
For starters, the application process looks different for everyone. As you talk to people, you learn that quickly. On my squad some people got accepted within days of applying and doing the phone interview. Other people went through up to six phone interviews and some were asked to seek counseling before proceeding in the application process.
Once accepted, you can be asked to defer anytime between then and launch. That means at Training Camp or thereafter you could be asked to put off your launch until a later time. This happens. You can also choose to defer if you believe that’s what’s right for you.
Post-launch. People do get sent home while on the field. From my experience, it’s not a common thing. As a Raised-up Squad Leader, I have gotten to pick my mentor’s brain about and be in on conversations about it and all these things.
AIM’s heart behind their action is for the good of the individual. They pray. They seek The Lord on each applicant.
So, starting back at Training Camp. It’s often said that TC is the “last interview” for the race. This is where you actually meet the leadership over you. You also go through a ton of heart issues while at TC. More than likely a lot will come up that you either realized or didn’t realize that you had. It’s not a shameful thing or bad. It’s good. Honestly, it’s awesome. I left TC more confident in who I am and freer than I had ever felt. The leadership sees you go through these things. Not because they are looking for a reason to send you home. They continue to pray and seek God on what is good for you. Sometimes that means asking people to defer. If they do that, it’s because they truly believe it’s the best thing for that person.
Being asked to leave post-launch, aka while on the field. My mentor always wants people to stay and will do whatever he can to work with a person to make that possible. We all mess up, make mistakes, and go through hard times. It’s our heart behind the issues and how we handle it that makes a difference. Like I mentioned, if you’re there going after what you chose to go on the race for then you have nothing to worry about. Don’t fear messing up, don’t feel like you have to be perfect. You won’t be. Nobody will be. As my squadmate likes to put it, we’re all going through our own “ish”.
All that cast aside, maybe you feel like you’re story is too dirty or your past is too “colorful” for the race. Maybe you have not been a dedicated Christian for very long. Whatever the case, beyond everything I have already said, this is what I have to say to you…
You are clean. You are not too much. Your past is not who you are now whether it’s been a day or fifteen years. The length of your relationship with Jesus doesn’t define you. What does is who you are now and what you do starting today. Right now. Choose humility. Choose truth. Choose the identity Christ has put upon you. The identity He died to give you.
Don’t let fear take the driver’s seat in your life. Not about this. Not about anything.
