At the beginning of the month, the end of month six debrief, one of the girls on the squad started handing our creativity challenges. This means that you were cornered by a squadmate, locked pinkies, and agreed to do something creative that scared you or made you uncomfortable.
I happened to be walking by the fire as they were doing this and Caleb demanded, “Rebekah, give me your pinky.” I had no idea what I was stepping into and was quite cautious to join. But, slightly reluctantly, I did.
Next thing I know I’m agreeing to dancing by myself in front of a church. This was to take place sometime while we were in Malawi.
The first Saturday night after we arrived at our host site the pastor reminded us that we were supposed to sing two songs during the services the following day. Never did I expect the next words that came out of his mouth.
He asked, “Who is going to dance tomorrow?”
All eyes turned to me. So he asked, “Are you going to dance?”
I paused for a few moments… “Yes.”
So, I danced. Twice. By myself. Once in each service. While the team sang “How He Loves” on the stage behind me.
If you’ve been following my blogs, then you know that dancing has been a huge part of my race so far. This was a huge step though. One I didn’t see coming.
Afterwards, I was thinking about it and I realized that I have never danced in front of a large group of people I don’t really know, like a church, by myself before. Growing up I was always dancing with a team. When I danced with/in front of my friends it was people I knew and usually not a very big group.
It was an awesome and fun experience. My legs and arms were shaking like crazy. My heart was beating fast. And I could feel all the eyes on me.
Yet, for a moment, I felt free. I felt alive.
And the voice in the back of my head wanted me to feel ashamed.
It was an intimate moment for me. I felt like my heart was on full display for all to see. And, in a sense, it was.
Then, people faded away. I looked up. I sang the words. I forgot my movements and let God lead. When I rewatch the video I can see the shift – it happens when we sing the verse the second time (about 2 minutes in). It’s beautiful to me. Which is a hard thing for me to admit.
So, my dance with Jesus continues. I am excited to see where it goes next!
