The Princess in Me
Heart aching, soul searching, fear crippling
Mind wandering, doubt clouding, worth shaking
Is my belief for me.
Believe for you? Okay.
But, my belief for me is to my dismay.
Why do I need you to believe for me?
Why does my belief fall short?
Is there not enough for me too?
Why don’t I see me through?
Stop.
Why can’t I push for me?
The one whom Christ came to free.
I’m a daughter of The King as well.
But to me, my spirit tell.
Tell it to live and to agree.
To see the person I could be.
I could change or I could strive,
Or I could let the princess in me come alive.
She’s there, she’s waiting for my permission
To live a life full of ambition
Power, drive, fullness, greatness
Ferocity to love all the nations.
To let her out, I hold the key.
It’s as simple as belief can be.
Choose.
Choose to believe and walk in truth.
My life of service will be the proof.
Nations will fall and resurrect, be grand
When the power is claimed and placed in His hands.
Learn to be a princess and say, “Yes,” to Him.
Then say it again, again, and again.
Never stop, never go back
Find the place of that inward attack.
Squash it, crush it, put it in its place
Step into the light of grace
Splendor, radiance, joy
The wonder of His works to employ
You are beauty.
You are love.
You are more.
You are lifted above.
Above the madness, above the doubt
Higher than the need to shout.
I hear you, I see you, I listen to you.
Trust Me. I will be true.
Don’t fear. Don’t shrink. Don’t run away.
I Am here with you – forever I stay.
I Am your Beloved and you are Mine.
So it will be through all of time.
I love you, My Dear. My Darling. My Joy.
My Delight is in you and you I enjoy.
I love you, Beloved. I love you, More.
My heart cried out to God last month. This was its song. I wept and told God how I felt unworthy, ashamed, powerless, and how I feel like people get stuck with me. How I don’t believe for my life. It feels like such a contradiction. My heart LOVES to believe for others. The longing of my heart is to see others pushed to reach past their own expectations of themselves and for them to soar with wings like eagles. And, if you read my last blog, then you know that what I want is to believe so strongly for other people that I can’t help but be pushed to prayer because it’s in that place that I know that I have to go to God – because I can’t provide for them. That is the level of compassion I want to reach for other people. The point where that is natural and always a first response.
But, me?
I don’t feel like I can do that for myself. I don’t believe for myself hardly at all. BUT. That is something God has really been pushing me in this month. I have been so encouraged by my teammates and by my hosts this month. We have done a couple ATL (Ask the Lord) times and it has been amazing to see God answer the questions of my heart. He continually tells me to, “Let it go. Let out the person I’ve created. Be you. You will move mountains and change nations by being who I have made you to be. Because you will let Me shine through you.” Over and over and over again.
Little by little I’m starting to get it. I may never fully get it. But, I want to walk in who God has made me to be. I want to take ownership of the identity He has placed on my life and let Him shine. It’s happening regardless of what I think about myself – He always makes Himself known. But, there is power behind embracing who He is inside of me.
I can’t wait to see what He will do.
TO BE CONTINUED…
