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We finished up our time in Zimbabwe by having a mini debrief / going away party for our Alumni Squad Leaders in Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.
If you have never heard Vic Falls, I suggest you google it and pin it on your “places to go” board on Pinterest. It is beautiful!
This is a short video of my adventure in swinging over the gorge where the rivers meet and become the Zambezi River.
Even though this was an adventure day, as I reflected over my experience later that day, I smiled at how the Holy Spirit will speak even through adventure days.
I look at this video and I think about how I went up to the platform the first time. I was still excited, mildly scared, but ready to do the jump. As I got up there on the platform and looked around at the vast expanse, fear started to grip me. If I died during this “it would be my fault because I chose to allow myself to be strapped in and to step off this cliff”.
It still gives me goosebumps and chills as I write this almost 2 full weeks later!
I made it only to the middle of the platform the first time.
The second time I got all the way to guy, he talks me through what is going on to happen and started to strap me in. All the while he was talking, talking, talking, the fear in me was welling, welling, welling!
“You can do this!”
“No” I shake my head.
“Don’t think about it!”
“Uh I can’t do this” I shake my head.
Every time he speaks it allows me the space to deny the truth… the truth that I am going to do this regardless of my fear.
He continues to speak as he straps me in the final safety carbeaners and it feels like my heart is trying to escape and stay on the platform. His grip loosens on the swing rope and I feel the gravity of the rope start to drag me off the platform. I was not ready for that…
“I CAN’T DO THIS! Get me off, get me OFF, GET ME OFF!!!!” …Tears streaming down my face!
Sylvester is evidently a pro at taking people back out of the equipment because I was unhooked and off the platform before I could blink and take a breath.
I stand there hyperventilating a little as Sylvester, another employee, and Kayla surround me trying to immediately console me, yet convince me to do this jump.
Finally, I ask for a second of quiet. They relent and give me a second to think.
“Lord, why is my fear increasing?”
Silence.
But as I stand in that silence I realize that I am immediately calming down.
“Hm… I don’t need to know the details to do this. All I need to know is that my God has bigger plans for me than dying in this gorge or anything else that I can be scared of. This is not my end. This is my chance to experience an adventure with You, Holy Spirit. Ok, let’s do this Holy Spirit!”
“I got you.”
Sylvester comes to check on me and starts to speak, but before he does I raise my hands in surrender and say “I will do this if you don’t talk me through this. Just put my hands where I am supposed be and let me know when it’s time.”
He nods his head and we start toward the platform. His associate comes towards me trying to speak and Sylvester and I both shoosh him. He halts and backs off as we get on the platform. Kayla was getting her harness off since she did her jump after my last run from the platform. She saw me head to the platform and started to encourage as well, but trusty Sylvester quieted her immediately. He strapped me in (and the video picks up from here)…
“I can’t believe I just jumped off that stupid cliff!”
The Holy Spirit spoke and revealed that I am doing this same fearful back and forth with some of the things He is trying to accomplish in my life. I get to the platform and get a glimpse of the expansive work that He wants to do through me and I panic. I go back and forth. Eventually I get on the platform, strapped in, and I let gravity drag me off the platform.
“But it’s so much better to open your arms, spread your wings, and fly with me!”
“But what do I do with the fear? My body is fighting against me with every being and fiber. Regardless of what my mind is saying, my body is physically welling up with my fear! The anxiety it’s creating!”
“Never let fear come between you and I because I’ve got you. Even though you feel that fear, you feel Me as well. Concentrate on Me. Spread your arms. And fly with Me.”
God is leading each and every one of us to do something radical with Him, something radical to bring His Kingdom here on earth, something radical for His glory.
Never let fear come between you and Him because He’s got you. Even though you feel that fear, you feel Him as well. Concentrate on Him. Spread your arms. And fly with Him.
