Coaching at RashidatO.com | Social Activism at Whereveryougolove.com
IG: @RashidatO_ FB: @WhereverYouGoLove.com
Last year at this time I was preparing for a year of transition, but I would have never imagined the transitions that have happened. I knew that God had set me up to make changes in my life by freeing me from my financial slavery of debt, but my vision for my life at that point was to continue through the Baby Steps of Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. First, I had accumulated my baby emergency fund of $1000. Next, I had worked for 2 1/2 years to pay off approximately $70K in debt. Then, I expected to begin building my wealth by saving and accumulating my full emergency fund and then saving for a house. My mind had proceeded on to being prepared for next season of life, to become a wife in the near future.
At the same time, I was reading a book called that Blessed Life and praying about the purpose God has for my life. I was working in a corporate environment and everyday every part of me from mind to body to soul said to me “this life is for the birds!”, but I also had no idea what was next. As I read the Blessed Life, there were a lot of themes to pick up on, but really I honed in on relinquishing what I had in order to bless someone else as I trust that God would take care of me.
I have to be honest, I wasn’t quite that insightful about how this related to my life as I went through this stage, but I did understand how it affected my finances. Even though God had blessed me to pay off my debt, I did not release Him from His box to do something amazing in that situation. I rested in knowing that I would get paid every 2 weeks and if I stayed on my budget, I would see the progress and fruits of that diligence. I’m not sure if you noticed, but everything in that statement was about what I could do. Nothing about what I was relying on God to do. Even through this amazing blessing I still was not relying on God.
That understanding hit me like a ton of bricks in the same way that it hit the rich man that asked Jesus for His insight on how to walk with Christ.
“Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him! He said, “There’s one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me.” The man’s face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go.”
??Mark? ?10:21-22? ?MSG??
http://bible.com/97/mrk.10.21-22.msg
I didn’t want to be like the rich man though. I wanted to do whatever it takes because I know that it is worth giving up everything I have.
““God’s kingdom is like a treasure hidden in a field for years and then accidentally found by a trespasser. The finder is ecstatic—what a find!—and proceeds to sell everything he owns to raise money and buy that field.”
??Matthew? ?13:44? ?MSG??
http://bible.com/97/mat.13.44.msg
I had no idea what it looked like to institute that abandonment in life. So I continued to pray. I continued to pray for wisdom, discernment, and frankly a knock on the head so that I would not miss His Word.
And knock on the head is exactly what I got!
January started with the company I worked for deciding to go ahead with using a group of consultants help my team improve and finish the multi-million dollar project that we were working on. In February, there was a reorganization of the two departments I worked with at my job. In March, responsibility was taken from my solid line boss and I was reorganized into the reporting structure of my dotted line boss. In April, April 8th to be exact, I made my last debt payment for my students loans making me debt free. I’m not sure that the chain of events sounded like much since there are not many details, but what I am saying is that my whole world was turned upside down in a matter of three months.
A couple years earlier…
In 2013, when I started my debt snowball I immediately decided to sell my car. I had just bought the car in May 2013 and sold it in January of 2014. During that first summer, as I rode the bus to work, one of my neighbors happened to be on the same bus. As we chitchatted she told me about a wedding that she had just returned from. It turns out that her nephew was the groom and had met his wife on this year long mission trip. I raised my eyebrow as I continued to listen to her share all of this man’s business because my interest was sparked. …Year long mission trip… missionary… life for Jesus… around the world… AND a husband?!? I was completely intrigued! Yet, the information went in one ear and out the other.
The next summer in 2015, I was not happy at work and I truly didn’t want to wait until I was miserable to make a change so I started thinking and pursuing different options. I spent a lot of time on LinkedIn looking for jobs and found an amazing oppurtunity in my career field as a technical designer working for H&M in Shanghai, China. I hoped that the changed on scenery would reignite my passion for my job. I also remembered the year long mission trip. I couldn’t remember the name of the organization, but I did a quick Google search and the World Race was at the top of the list. I remember watching the video interview of Evan on the website and not having the same story, but completely understanding the sentiment he shared. I knew this was wanted I needed to do! The job would have been cool and I would have been able to continue to make money and experience a new culture on a new continent, but I knew it would be just more of the same things that I currently had in my life. I wanted more! But as I prayed, God was clear that my life would change in the next summer to come, but I had to hold on until that time. I remember one of my best friends, Simonair, saying “I know you hate where you are right now, but God has you there for a great purpose. Paying off your debt is a great purpose. Just keep at it. You are fine”. So I held on.
Fast forward back to April…
I was serving in the VicKids children ministry at my home church, Victory World Church in Norcross, Georgia. After the Saturday evening service our team went out for a social to have dinner at Chipotle to connect. As we waited in line to get our food the topic of missions was in the air. A few people had recently come back from mission trips and were talking about their experiences. As I listened I thought about how, just the week before, I had signed up for a mission trip to Jerusalem with the church, but also thought about the World Race. I was a little self conscious to share that information though because I didn’t want anyone to think I was trying to one up them. So I made a deliberate decision to keep my mouth closed.
Evidently, the Holy Spirit was not down with that position for me in the conversation because the second we all sat at the table my friend Sierra turned to me asked me if I had thought about missions. With all 6 or 7 sets of eyes around the table looking at me I took a deep breath and shared about both trips. Sierra seemed intrigued and asked further questions, as did the rest of the people at the table. The biggest question was would I actually give up all that I had up to live out of a backpack for a year. I had no hesitation in saying yes! This made for a lively topic around the table and we enjoyed ourselves. That night when I got home I went on to the World Race website and played around a bit, reading about different topics and doing the test. I ended the night with texting the website information to Sierra in case she wanted more information.
Life over that next week was intense.
On Monday, I had a follow up meeting with the HR rep at my job where she said “I know you work the job of two people and you do great at it, but won’t equalize your pay”. On Tuesday, a young lady from the World Race called me. I happened to be in a meeting and asked if we could talk some other time so our conversation was ended quickly. On Wednesday, I spoke with my partner from another team to try to find balance in the workload and ask for help. As we walked and talked she said to me “I don’t do much of anything right now and I’m ok with that because I don’t want to deal with the drama of what is going on”. On Friday, I working at my desk and email of promotions comes through. My first inclination was to delete it without reading it, but something told me to “read it”. I opened it, scrolled through, and found the name of my team member whom had just told me she did no work and had no intent of doing work.
It was kick in the gut.
Breathless, I found one of my friends at work and sobbed as I told her I did not think I could come back on Monday. I had one meeting left early in the afternoon. I sucked up my emotions and muscled my way through a horrible meeting of listening to a team resist inevitable change and then I packed my belongings and left for the day.
I put on my dark sunglasses in an attempt to hide my pain and tears and I walked to the train station screaming at God in my mind.
“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!?! I can’t keep doing this! Please speak to me! What is your plan! I don’t want to go back on Monday! I can’t go back on Monday!”
I continued this conversation with Holy Spirit as I stood at the train station until I received a phone call.
I answered and it was same young lady from the World Race whom had called me a couple days before. She happily said “Hey! So can I answer any questions for you about the World Race?” I remember being surprised and tried to hide the emotion in my voice. I said to her “well, I’m not really sure to be honest. At this point, I had not planned to do the World Race for another 2 years”, but even as the words came out of my mouth I felt the Holy Spirit pluck me in the head, rolls His eyes and give me the look that said “Really?!?” I realized that this was the answer to my prayers in that second and I immediately backtracked, saying “but my plans can change of course! I have no idea what to ask because this was not in my immediate mind space, but please share anything that comes to mind!”
We chatted a bit and Ashley directed me to World Race page to look through the routes. We got off the phone as the train arrived so I got on and found a seat. I immediately got on the site and the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder. I realized that all the hurt, all the pain, all the unknown, all the tears, all the emotions that I had been feeling only minutes before were gone and replaced by a still peace. I had been texting Simonair all day said to her “I think I’m supposed to go on the World Race”. She responded “that sounds GREAT!”
I sit here today at a tin outdoor shelter that some would call a cafe in the Philippines and I reflect on life from last year. I can’t help, but realize how blessed I am! I prayed for purpose and God has shown me the life and adventure of a missionary. I prayed for change and God not only changed my scenery, but changed my career, changed my trajectory, and changed my world. I prayed for provision and God has provided for me a journey of spiritual growth that I never could have imagined along with financially raising $14,491 of the needed $16,561 in a matter of 8 months! I am in awe and amazed that He would give me such a gift in spite of screaming at Him at the train station that day, in spite of not submitting to His Lordship in the past, in spite of how I sometimes I get distracted by things that are not of Him, in spite of all that He has and continues to bless me.
I share all of these things because I still have about $2,000 to raise in order to be fully funded. I am asking that you consider that maybe God may be wanting to use you to help me achieve this last deadline. He has used so many of you already! I am grateful as I watch your open your hearts as you read and respond to posts I’ve shared in addition to opening your purses to financially support this mission and journey. I could not have done this without your support and your prayers. In this way we are connected by the Holy Spirit on this journey and I’m grateful that He has brought us all together.
So as I am writing and asking you to sacrifice to support this mission one last time, but I want you to know that I am grateful for you regardless of your decision because this journey started with Father in Heaven providing, through you, and will continue to provide. He has provided a way for you to accompany me on this journey and I pray that you will not shy away from supporting me if you are unable to financially donate. I still want and need you on this journey! I still want and need your comments, prayers, likes, and support as this journey continues. I read and appreciate every single donation response, email, and reply to my posts. I feel your prayers all the way from America!
So if you can and feel God is calling you to donate to this mission, please do, but regardless please continue to support me, my team, and my squad through this journey with your prayers and affection. You are a part of the provision that God has for us and I am thankful for you.
God,
My lips and heart can’t begin to express gratitude for Your blessings! I know that raising this money is nothing for You. I that I am in alignment for the Your will for my life and therefore I trust in Your provision and timing. Thank you for allowing me to be Your Daughter! Thank you for being my Father.
Amen
