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Never would I have imagined that my World Race experiences and blog could or would become a platform to discuss the taboo topic of racism. It blows my mind how God works!!! But God has given me an opportunity to talk about a hard topic that needs to be and can be healed by pulling it from the darkness, discussing the ins and outs, and coming together to love all people as Christ loved.
Before I left for my Race in October 2016, I remember having a conversation with one of my best friends, Phillip. To be honest he was thoroughly disgusted with me because I was not up in arms and ready to go out and protest about all the injustice that was happening to black people in America. I’m exaggerating a little bit, on one hand, he understood that taking the Gospel to nations is important, but on the other hand what about our black friends and family right at home in the United States of America that was emotionally hurting and being physically and systemically hurt by the injustices experienced in our country? In our heated discussion, I explained “I have not forgotten nor do ignore the things that are going on, but I personally don’t believe that protesting is the answer.”
In the days of Martin Luther King, there were plenty communal demonstrations for civil rights, but I believe the real change happened during the quiet conversations where he shared his heart about the injustice… and how it made it him feel… and how he, his children, and his family had to react because of it… and how these issues affected his life. It was the quiet discussions that captured the heart of all Americans that cared to listened. And as one privileged American heard, understood, related, and wanted to change the injustices a gap was bridged. No longer were oppressed fighting for themselves. An oppressor switched sides, stood in the middle, and said “this can happen no more!” In those quiet conversations, everyone realized that we all have a part to play to ending racism and decided to stand together.
Reading the posts and comments from this initial blog I saw the oppressed continue to be angry and I saw the oppressor continue to be defensive. Please lay down both of those weapons, lay down your hurts, and open your hearts to talk so that together we can change.
I have a wonderful teammate named Kayla. I’ve written about her before. She has been one of the lifesavers and best friends on the race. Kayla was not with me during any of the situations that I wrote in this initial post. She had no responsibility in those situations. She wasn’t even with me when I wrote the post, yet the second she read it she came to talk to me. She didn’t get angry for “wanting the squad to stand up for me”. She wasn’t defensive about not being able to do something during the situation. She simply wanted to know how she could better love her hurting friend through these situations.
I cried…
…because I have never had someone ask me “how can I, as a white person that doesn’t fully understand, that has never experienced anything close, stand next to you as my friend and support you?”
I replied, “just stand there with me, keep asking questions”.
I gave her the example “what if the people who were served before me asked the man ‘why are we being served first while she is waiting for the same dish?’ I’m sure that man would have been a heck of a lot more convicted to treat me better and with respect than if I would have confronted him about it.”
Kayla and I talked and continue to talk. And others on my squad continue to talk and bridge this gap to further understand and make an impact within the topic of racism. And even though I said ‘I wish my squad would better support me in this’ please understand that they are trying. It won’t happen overnight. It takes many conversations of gracefully sharing my feelings and experiences from a “black perspective” that is not full of hate and anger towards every white person I meet and listening from white people who have released guilt and shame from the past as we all work together because we just want to love and make a better future.
Each time we do this we add another foot to the bridge that eliminates racism and builds love and inclusion.
Kayla wrote a beautiful post injustice that I want to share. These are the conversations and responses that will heal our nation and the world of racism.
What a Coloring Book Taught Me about Racism
by Kayla Krynski
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28
Sweet little seven-year-old Jagan flipped open her battered and clearly loved princess coloring book. Excitement coated her face as her hands whipped past the pages, seeking something specific to show me.
She stopped at a page and beamed up at me. I froze, staring down at the meticulously colored scene. Her finger pointed to the colored princesses one after another saying, “Jagan color this!” before turning to me with a serious look and reminding me her name is Jagan.
I nodded numbly and picked up the book. Four princesses colored with coffee brown skin and coal-black hair smiled up at me. I shook my head trying to shake off the surprise and thought to myself of course. Of course, Jagan, a Malay child of Indian descent, would color her princesses this way.
But this little girl and her coloring book revealed a small vestigial sliver of my own internalized racism. I don’t know if my retelling conveyed it enough but I was shocked—taken aback, confused, deeply surprised—when I first saw her dark-skinned princesses.
It revealed that truth that when I think “princess” or maybe even “woman”, my mind immediately adds “white” in front of that. I see the world white—and I’m not necessarily beating myself up over it because both I and my culture is white.
But I am aware. And I am aware that while my culture is white, not everyone who lives in it is.
Rashidat, my beautiful teammate and dear friend, colored with us. In terms of skin, Rashidat has more in common with Jagan than I, given her African American heritage. However, given culture, she has more in common with me.
As I realized what my mind and heart were processing, I turned to Rashidat with the coloring book in my hands. I had tears in my eyes and I’m sure I looked as bewildered as I felt.
“They’re beautiful,” Rashidat said, smiling wide.
Here in our town of Sungai Petani, a majority of the people are either Indian or Malay—giving them dark skin, some even darker than Rashidat. Yet despite this similarity in skin tone, Rashidat has experienced blatant racisms that the white members of our team have not.
Here, her photo is taken more often than ours—once a wedding photographer posed his couple with her blatantly as a prop in the background. Her permission is never asked and apologies are never given.
In a few instances at restaurants, she is served last, workers choosing to serve white members of our squad or team first, brushing off her questions despite everyone else continually being served ahead of her.
And even on our squad, comments are constantly behind made about us as “that crazy group of white people,” effectively excluding Rashidat from this tribe.
For the most part, Ro knows deeply who she is and doesn’t allow Satan a foothold in these issues. Yet still, I’ve watched these little things hurt my friend and attempted to do my best to see her.
I see my teammate standing at the crossroads of culture and race, the world constantly pushing her to choose one path over another, constantly telling her how she should act because of her skin, constantly trying to force her into a box God never ever designed for her.
Rashidat said once that if she had to choose between her “black card” and her “Jesus card”, she wants her Jesus card first and foremost, and yes I so agree.
However, she still lives in her skin and still has to walk through this world as a black woman—something I will never be able to fully understand.
I’m coming to the conclusion that race is a blessing from God to give the world more vibrancy and color (pun intended). As he always does, Satan tries to pervert the good gifts of God into something ugly.
Racism isn’t something limited to black versus white. I’ve seen it rear its head in every country I’ve ministered in. Racism exists between the Cambodian and the Vietnamese; between the tribal people of Thailand and those in cities; here in Malaysia, between the three major groups, Chinese, Malay, and Indian.
If Satan can use something as meaningless as skin color to keep humanity divided, you better believe he’ll use it. Whether it be surprise at dark-skinned princesses or blatant refusal to serve a black person, racism is something Christians must be aware of.
We are called to unity in Christ and that means fighting racism and fighting the lies of culture. I don’t want to live in a mindset of American culture, but in one of Kingdom culture—seeking to cultivate and operate in a culture that brings Kingdom and pleases The Lord.
The funny thing about this ‘fighting’ is really, all we need to do is start conversations. That’s the way Jesus did most of his ministry, after all. Attempting to understand another’s perspective brings us closer to unity.
So, church body, I see us standing on a teeter-totter. On one side sits Kingdom culture—the invitation to love recklessly, live freely, and offer grace as we have been offered by God. On the other side sits culture as the world and your geographical location define—prejudices based on race or religion, fear of things that are different, and division masked as protection.
Sure, we can stand in the middle and be balanced and have everything be “safe” and “fine”—but is that really what we want? Is that really what we’re called into?
Church body, I’m ready to tip the scales— to fight for justice one conversation at a time, to proclaim unity in Christ, and to attempt to see with Jesus’ heart. Are you?
“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Galatians 5:13-14*
