Coaching at RashidatO.com | Social Activism at Whereveryougolove.com
IG: @RashidatO_ FB: @WhereverYouGoLove.com
I have been struggling. It’s been hard to enjoy myself lately. Everything has felt like a chore. It’s a chore to lead, it’s a chore to do ministry, it’s a chore to anything that feels serious. It’s taken me a little bit of time to figure out how to articulate this. Since I’ve arrived in the beautiful country of Thailand I have felt a heaviness that I could not understand.
So on Monday, I planned to lighten the load, to have some fun, to let it all hang out (in a manner of speaking). After breakfast, I went to spend some time with my One by taking her some coffee and having a conversation in broken English. For the afternoon, I planned to return to my bed and read and write to my heart’s content. It’s old lady fun, but I was excited nevertheless!
I went down for lunch and when I returned I ran into Ebony and Lise. They invited me to Sticky Falls, a waterfall in the mountains. Some of our squadmates had gone earlier that morning. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go since I am deathly afraid of water, but I was definitely sure that I wanted to spend some time with Ebony. She has such a loving, warm, and welcoming spirit. And we had spent days trying to hang out together but had not had the chance to connect. But today would be the day!
I walked back into the room and asked Ashlyn what she was doing.
“Nothing, really.”
“We’re going to Sticky Falls. Would you like to come?”
She hesitated and tried to convince herself out of it, but eventually conceded. We head down to find Ebony and Lise with no idea how God planned to bless all of us.
The ride out to the location ended up being like an hour and a half long. We had great and fun conversations the whole time! We arrived at the waterfall and I start to get nervous about what we are about to do. We walk down the steps and then take off our shoes. Soon, I’m standing in a rapid river with water raging around my feet, but securely standing in the midst of the rage. I wish that I would have realized how much of an active metaphor this was as I stood there.
I was so nervous about the water that has haunted my fears since I was a child. But in the midst of the rage, the stone of the waterfall was “sticky” under my feet grounding me through my climb down into depths where the natural pool awaited. And it continued to ground me as I climbed back up the waterfall emerging to beautiful views at the “top of my fear” that I saw as I looked over the climb.
This relates so much to my walk with Jesus. It is one thing to ask God to
“take me deeper than my feet can ever wander so that my faith can be made stronger, in the presence of my savior”
-Song: Oceans
and another thing to actually do it. The idea sounds great, but releasing control and having faith, trust, and strength in Him are needed to actually succeed.
Climbing Sticky Falls at the beginning of this month was a premonition for what was to come…
We had such a great time! What an amazing, yet relaxing, but exhilarating adventure day.
On the ride home, Ashlyn, Lise, Ebony & I encouraged each other greatly. Ebony asked us a great question…
“What does God look like to you?”
I can’t wait to share the details of that conversation in my next post. But for now, I’m leaning into Him and releasing more and more control and replacing it with all the faith, trust, and strength that I can muster because He will multiply those things as He leads me to
“where my trust is without borders, [to] let me walk upon the waters wherever He will call me”.
-Song: Oceans
