I hope to one day get married, graduate from University with a degree or two. I have a dream that I will work with kids that have been rejected, neglected, victims of abuse, in the foster system or kids that just need someone to be there for them. I hope to be the stability in their lives for as long as they need, entering their lives and never leaving. The person that they can call up at any time. I hope to one day make a difference in the children’s lives around me. I dream that one day I will have a family of my own. I also dream of traveling and seeing this big, wonderful world we live in. I dream about what my life could look like down the road, by the decisions I make today. What am I doing today that will get me closer to my dreams….
I also desire a lot of things…
I desire to live here in Canada or rather Alberta and to be close to my friends in family. I desire to be deeply rooted in a community here, where I am filled up, challenged and encouraged on the daily. I desire to have a good job that will provide enough for me to live off of. I desire to live a life where I am happy and loving what I am doing. I don’t just want to do life, but I want to live life to the fullest. I desire to know exactly how my life is going to turn out, plan my future and know everything is going to be okay, because I have a plan!
I focus on the future a lot, and that is not always a good thing, so what do I desire now.
Right now if things were up to me, I would love to travel down to Georgia to reunite with my S-squad family and enjoy getting filled up and refilled by all of them. I would then love to come back home to spend more time with my family, get back into a regular routine, make some money, so that I could again become an independent person, who could provide for herself.
I would love to stay home and enjoy my favourite season of all, winter. It may be way too cold to enjoy the outdoors, but I sure love the coziness of it all. I love curling up with a blanket and a hot chocolate, while the snow is falling outside. This gets even better because this year the winter Olympics will be on. I love watching the olympics, especially the winter ones, so curling up on the couch with a blanket, a hot drink while watching the olympics sounds pretty amazing at the moment. I want to live life, here at home doing all the things I love.
I want to look into how working towards my dream of working with kids would actually work. I would look at schooling and how to work towards that dream.
I want to begin life, start settling down and figuring out how to live a normal life at home. I want to start incorporating what I learned on the race and begin rooting myself here. I want to meet with my supporters and share stories with them, thank them and tell them how much they helped me grow the kingdom. I want to do so many things and this past month was just too short to complete all the things I want to do. I desired to do so many more things, but life got busy, real busy and time flew by and as I read back through all of these things, that could be confusing to read and a big mumbled mess (that is what the inside of my head feels like) I can’t help but see how selfish of a person I am being.
Everything I want to do is inwardly focused. I don’t want to do things that are hard and out of my comfort zone and honestly I don’t really want to live through the whole world race life again. I love having a closet, a bed, a car, food and all the comforts that home brings, but that is not what the Lord desires for me. He is leading me somewhere else, that is going to fulfill my life so much more and bring me back to my dream about living life to the fullest. His plans are so much bigger than mine, therefore he has changed my desires and if I keep focused on Him and keep Him at the centre, our desires will line up with each other.
So, what is next?
I am going back out into the field, to travel, live, disciple, mentor, challenge, encourage, laugh, cry and love on a whole other squad of racers. Did I desire to do this, NO, but the Lord has changed my heart and I am so ready to finally meet D-squad and get to do life beside them.
So, I know what my life looks like for the next 5 months. I will be living in 5 different countries being wrecked by God. He will teach me things. He will walk me through things. He will continue to break me down and build me back up. He will walk me through more freedom, but I don’t know exactly how that is going to look. I know that this will happen, because I have lived this life and I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me these next 5 months, but I do not know what or where I will be after. I can tell you what I selfishly desire to do or where I want to be, but just like the Lord changed my plans this time around, He could do it again.
As much as I like to dream and plan my future out so that I get what i want out of this life, I know I can’t be set on those dreams because then I am not living for God. I am here to glorify Him and if I keep him at the centre of my life, then my desires and dreams are going to take me where I need to be, because He has me in His hands and He knows how my story ends. He will set me up for success, so I don’t need to worry about the future, or the what’s next, because He has got me and as much as I wish I could plan, things could always change. A life with God is always changing and if I keep my eyes on him, all these selfish desires and dreams could change and my direction that I thought I was going could do a whole 180 degree turn.
So, while I desire to return to Canada after my 5 months are over on the race, I can’t say I am for sure. I desire to come home and begin life, but if God has a different plan I need to trust Him and be obedient to Him. He has called me out upon the waters and I must follow Him, so my desire was not to only be home for a short period, but it was to return to school and finish, but the Lord has other plans for me and I have to trust that He is going to continue to provide for me.
So, I can’t tell you what is next. I can’t tell you what is going to happen this first month in Haiti, because I do not know. I can only tell you that these next 5 months are going to be amazing, they are going to be hard and filled with growth and amazing memories.
I cannot tell you what is next, because that is still in the dark. I am following the light and so far the Lord has only shown me where I will be these next 5 months and as the Lord opens my heart and shines the light a little further you will all know what is next, as I share my journey with you here.
I am still in need of financial support. I ask that you would pray with me for God to provide. He has called me here and I know that he will provide. If you feel like God is tugging on your heart you can donate through this page.
– If you are American go ahead and click on the donate tab at the top right hand corner of this page, all donations are tax deductible.
-If you are Canadian and would like a tax receipt, please send an e-transfer to [email protected] with a follow-up email stating my name (Quinn Diaz), your name and your address. Need help refer to this blog of mine.
I am also in need of prayer. Prayer is the most important support. I believe in the power of prayer.
I send out support emails every month. If you would like to receive an email, comment with your email and I will include you in them.
You can also subscribe to my blog to get email updates whenever I post a blog!
