I don’t know how it happened, but I got all protective and couldn’t handle the bullies anymore. I couldn’t hold back anymore and ignore them. They were telling me to F off and calling my kids all sorts of things. One of them ran up and stole a kids hat for the 10th time and another got up and started punching the other ones. I didn’t know what to do, I just wanted to protect my kids. I picked up the smallest one and started walking away with him when the bigger one came after me, he started kicking me and throwing rocks at me so I put the other one down and I turned around and punched him…….or at least I wanted to.
This past month has been filed with trials. We lived amongst four boys in the neighborhood who loved to start trouble. It took everything in my body to not knock them upside the head, to put them in their place or show them that I am bigger and stronger than them. I had to ask the Lord daily to give me his eyes for these kids, to let me love them the way they are wanting to be loved, but each new day brought a new trial.
These trials included getting spit on, kicked, told to F off multiple times, breaking into our house, throwing rotten bananas into our bathroom, wiping poop on our laundry hanging outside and banging on our door at 1:30 AM and spitting through the door on the girls who woke up to the banging!
How do you love people like this?
It is incredibly hard and every time we came into contact with these kids I just wanted to ignore them. I never wanted to open my heart to them. I instantly thought that if I ignore them, maybe they would just leave me and my team alone. It was then put on my teammate Janibel’s heart to buy Gelato for them the next time we run into them. Despite the vandalism and the rudeness of these boys the Lord was still telling us to love them.
It was a great reminder that we as people are not perfect. I wanted to punch a 10 year old kid for being a brat. I am way older and could take the higher road but it’s easy to get mad in the moment. I am sure I do so many stupid things that makes God upset and disappointed, but he still opens his heart to me and he continues to give me things, provide for me and love me. He knows I need it and he knows that I am capable of so much more. He also knew that about these boys and even though they were huge trouble makers he showed us how to love on them.
The Lord continually shows me to have eyes like he does. He shows me how to love even when it is hard and I am forever grateful for a Graceful father!
