Nepal was a great month, but with all the highs there came some lows. I loved living with my entire squad, but with that came comparison. I worried that my World Race Journey wasn’t going the way it should. I was worried that my relationship with the Lord hadn’t grown as much as others. I felt like the growth I had read about in other blogs wasn’t occurring in me. I was getting inside of my head.
This month was also filled with lots of down time and one on ones. Everyday we started out with ministry on the rooftop worship followed by an hour of quiet time. In this time I found myself calming down and finding connection again. I found that every journey is different and that I need to get out of comparing myself with others.
One-on-one time is amazing, getting to hang out with friends and hearing their hearts and how they have been doing is refreshing. One day my friend Klancy had asked me a random question, she said How is your quiet time going? I would love to hear your heart one day, so we decided to have a breakfast date. Let me tell you all, I love living in a community where others want to know me fully and dive deep in my life. I love being pursued as much as I love pursuing others.
Over breakfast, she encouraged me. She said that she just wanted to make sure I was putting time aside to talk with G0d and how important it was. She told me I was bold and that she just wanted to encourage me to keep seeking the L0rd. Klancy, is a wonderful woman and is so obedient to what the H0ly Sp!rit is telling her. She challenges me daily and I was so happy we were able to share our stories with one another. The L0rd was using her to see if I was really listening to what he was telling me.
This happened multiple times throughout this past month. After the fourth time of getting basically the same message, each adding a little more description to how I was feeling, my ears were opened to what the L0rd was telling me.
Sidenote: Listening pr@yer is when you pray and talk with the L0rd. You sit and silence and let the H0ly Sp!rit move and you write down what you hear or whatever comes to your mind.
I received a listening pr@yer note from a squad mate, Hannah. She told me that she got the word Peace. She said that I need to grow in peace and how the L0rd was going to meet me where I am at and calm my fear. She had an image of a child meeting with the L0rd and she was so happy. She said that the child was embraced in love. The child was so happy. She then said that child is you Quinn, the L0rd is with you, and you need to embrace it.
Crazy, right? I know I need peace and I need to let go of things and the L0rd is going to heal those things because he loves me so much. The L0rd moves in mighty ways.
Then again…
My teammate Allison gave me a similar note. The L0rd is going to heal your anxieties. You need to bring your questions to the feet of the L0rd and take a drink from his well. You will finish this race strong!
Okay, L0rd what are you trying to tell me? Two days in a row, I received basically the same information said in different ways from two different people.
Then again…
Danielle read out her words she had received from her time in prayer and before she even said allowed who it was for, I knew it was me. My ears had been open! I knew exactly what the L0rd had been telling me and it took four people to get that through me. Danielle’s words were exactly what I needed to hear and was exactly how I had been feeling. I was blown away by the L0rd once again.
Even though I was deaf to what he had been trying to tell me this month, He found a way to get it through my mind. He used four different people to tell me that I am exactly where I need to be. That this journey is mine and that I need to use this time well. I need to keep seeking after Him and utilizing the gifts he has given me. He is not finished with me yet and He won’t be finished with me until I meet him face to face.
This race I am on is not supposed to only last 11 months, but I am supposed to utilize this year to grow and strengthen my relationship with Him. I am supposed to learn to seek him daily and enjoy sitting in His presence. I need to dive into the present, be intentional in my community where ever I am, because He made me unique and He gave me gifts that I can offer to other people. He meets me where I am not where I think I should be, so I can rest in Him.
My ears have been open. Listening pr@yer is probably the craziest absurd thing you might ever hear of, but it works. Our relationship with the L0rd is not to be one sided, we are supposed to talk with him. We are to listen and go where He calls us.
Give it a try and let your ears be open!
