How do you explain something that is unexplainable? Training camp was amazing and it wrecked me. I have pondered over writing this blog the past few days because it is so hard to put into words. God did some amazing things at camp and performed some major heart surgery.
I went into training camp with fear, and I was broken. If you want to read more about my pre-training camp thoughts go here.
I was afraid! Afraid that I wouldn’t make good connections, afraid of opening up with complete strangers and afraid of the depths of my heart. What was God going to reveal to me that I didn’t want to see, I mean I have hidden it for a reason right?
Training camp blew any expectations I had out of the water and God showed up! He didn’t just show up, but he performed right in front of my face. I experienced him on a whole new level, hearing him physically speak to me, and confirming those thoughts through others.
Worship is one of my favourite things, but never have I ever worshiped so freely before, people shouting, dancing, laughing, crying, all because the Joy of the Lord is in them, they are free. I wanted to be able to experience that kind of freedom. The first night, when they asked for people to stand if they needed prayer, I stood and it hit me, tears filling my eyes, as our squad leader, Lo, prayed over me. She didn’t just pray any prayer, but every doubt and thought that filled my mind just moments before were mentioned by her, God was confirming that I was right were I needed to be.
Days went on, and the speakers dug deeper. I learned that in order to fully love on others, I have to love myself first. The way you see yourself, can change the way you look out on life and others. It can change everything.
I tend to hold high expectations for myself. I put myself under so much stress, because I fill my life with such a busy schedule. I fill the empty spaces with things to do, rather then standing still and listening to what God has in store for me. I put those walls up, and let me tell you, he tore them all the way down the past 10 days.
I am pretty sure I cried multiple times within the first five days of camp, as God continued to do work in me. I learned that I had to forgive. We as humans were not meant to hold unforgiveness. It makes us bitter.
The Lord again spoke to me through someone else, as I sat there crying. I never stood up to get prayer, but rather Sara came to me. “The Lord sees you, and he hears your cries, even in this room full of people, he has his eyes on you.” Man the Lord is amazing, in that moment I felt his arms wrap around me and say ‘You are worthy’, “humble and kind’ and ‘You are mine’. I became free in that moment, because I learned to forgive myself, for everything I had ever done.
In that moment, I could feel the Lord mending my heart back together. I am sure that more things will start to be revealed, as I dig deeper in my relationship with him, but he set me free. He gave me joy, and he told me to stop worrying, for I am exactly where I need to be.
“So I will sing praise to your name forever that I may daily perform my vows’
Psalm 61:8
There are so many other things that went on at camp, and so many more lessons learned. We learned about shame, intimacy, soul-ties and giving it all to God. We learned that loving yourself is important, because then we can love others better. I was set free, so that I could go out and love the nations well.
“The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free” Luke 4:18
Thank you to each and everyone of you. Your support means so much and I would not have been able to do this without you! If you would like to know more about the lessons God has been teaching me, please message me and I would love to meet up with you!
Meet my People:
I fell in love with 57 other people. Our squad is Big, and God has some Big plans for us. I never thought I could fall in love with strangers so fast!
Meet my team, Joyful Fortitude. We will be living and serving together for the first few(ish) months. We chose our name, by going through some of our favourite bible verses, which all included joy and strength. We decided to go with the Joy of the Lord is our Strength. The Lord has some amazing things planned for this team and I can’t wait to do life with them! L-R: Allison, Cassidy, Janibel, Quinn, Jenna & Linsey
S-squad is under some amazing leadership. My love for them amazes me. They worked with us, allowed us to cry on their shoulders, laughed, danced and praised with us. They listened intently and without judgement, allowing us to work through things that the Lord was revealing. They were the back bone. Thank you Training team!
I am still in need of funds, and need to have 10, 000 by December 6th. I have full confidence that the Lord is going to provide this money for me. If you would like to partner with me and help grow the kingdom, please click the donate tab. If you are Canadian please visit this blog and see how you can donate in CAD and receive a tax receipt.
Love and Blessing to you all!
Quinn
Here is a little highlight video and a little more of my thoughts on camp!
