Gone with the wind…
One of my all time favorite novels.
I always loved and admired the main protagonist, Scarlett O’Hara. As I grew up and read this novel over and over again, she always made a big impression on me and in my eyes she was the perfect lead character. Without being a role model, she definitely depicted the kind of woman I wanted to be.
I loved her impetuousness, her boldness and courage, her independence and the fact that she didn’t need anyone. I loved that she wouldn’t let society or men rule her behaviors. I loved her unconventional ways and that she would do whatever it takes to achieve her goals. I admired her entrepreneurial instincts and her talent for leadership…
But in the eyes of the young reader that I was, I would omit that she would also be manipulative and wouldn’t hesitate to trample on people to achieve her goals. I wouldn’t realize that she would most of the time act out of selfishness and fears, that she would hurt people before they could hurt her or that she wouldn’t allow the people who fondly and genuinely loved her to take care of her…
Today, more than a decade later after I first read Gone with the Wind, I still really admire this protagonist, but as a more mature reader I am now able to appreciate Scarlett’s character development throughout the novel.
I now realize how her past circumstances, hardships and choices hardened her heart and distorted her way of viewing the world and people; changing her into a never satisfied woman, always wanting more and fighting for more. She wouldn’t give herself rest and wouldn’t allow herself to love people. It never crossed my mind before that she was a mess. It never occurred to me that she was constantly struggling to survive instead of just enjoying life and what was given to her.
If I want to be truly honest with myself, I can relate to her character development.
But I don’t want her sad and uncertain ending.
I don’t want the one who loved and supported me the most (Rhett Butler in the novel) to turn his back on me because he gave up the hope of ever receiving my love or because of my own brokenness and lack of trust.
I refuse my history to weigh me down and be a hindrance to my destiny.
Gone with the wind are my past failures…
Gone with the wind are my old ways…
Today I am a new creation!
Since the beginning of the year I feel like God is refining and pruning me to a whole new level. He is taking me on a journey to discover the real me, freeing me from my wannabe tendency and race to perfection.
This pre-journey to The World Race is definitely not a comfortable season and I must admit that over the last months I spent as much time dancing joyfully than down on my knees crying.
I refuse to bring all these heavy baggage with me on The World Race.
Gone with the wind is my idealized self-image…
Gone with the wind are the lies I believed in…
Today I embrace my true self!
I’m so thankful to the Lord for His unrelenting sweet love and how gently He is teaching me how to partner with Him and trust Him.
It took me time to realize and believe that God is no Rhett Butler… His love for me won’t erode over time; He won’t give up on me even if I have difficulties reciprocating His love. He won’t let go of my hand if I’m being wayward. He won’t turn his back on me if don’t make the wisest choice…
The Lord is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love (Psalm 145:8)
Could I ask you to support me with your prayers as the Lord is lifting from my eyes new veils and taking me deeper into His love? Would you accompany me in my prayers to keep strong and let God mold me the way He wants and prepare me for the World Race and everything else He has in store?
Thank you so much for reading!
Be lavishly blessed!
Melo
