I am not sure if I’ve talked about “Journey Markers” before or not. “Journey Markers” is a requirement of every Racer to do with their team every week! It is usually Scripture, a former Racer’s story, and reflection questions about a specific theme, or a “how are you doing/check-in” type of prompt, or what area(s) between intimacy, community, or mission did you grow in the most this month and what one(s) do you want to grow in next month. I wanted to share the one from the week of August 5th with you all. It was a great one that I heard good things from our Papa in Heaven! Enjoy!
PROMPT: Find a quiet place to spend an hour or more with God. Bring your Bible and a journal. Spend time asking God for the questions He wants you to ask. Write down the questions. Then ask them of God, waiting in silence for Him to answer. When He answers, write down what you hear.
MY PRAYER: “Hey Papa – I am coming to rest at Your feet, to just rest in Your Presence and listen to whatever You have to tell me. I am ready to listen – to be still and quiet and hear whatever You have for me today. What questions do You want me to ask You? Is there a topic/theme that You want me to ask about?
Why have I felt so close, yet so distant from You at the same time? I am spending time with You daily – but not always feeling like I’ve spent time with You. I don’t even know if that makes sense. I feel like I’ve learned a lot overall – but I guess since I haven’t felt like I’ve learned anything in a while I feel not as close to You/just off. I don’t know if this is part of Your continued preparation for me for leaving the Race or not. I guess I’m frustrated with myself for lack of progress/not talking through my frustrations with You. I guess I just feel so off and didn’t try to find the root/cause of it. I think I’m also projecting a bit of my feelings of rejection/abandonment from friends onto You too Papa. I’m placing You in that box of people who I feel rejection from. It makes no sense – unless if I am subconsciously blaming You for why people from home aren’t talking to me.”
GOD’S ANSWER: “My daughter, you are allowed to be frustrated, maybe at Me sometimes too. That happens. Look at all of My people in the Bible who struggled; grew to be frustrated and mad at Me. Just know – these feelings are not meant to be felt forever. You will feel better. We will get through this together.
I want you to express your feelings more as they come – grow more comfortable in vulnerability. You are learning so much – but you need to be okay in the resting and waiting periods too. They WILL happen more frequently and for longer periods of time at home. I AM beginning to prepare you for life back home because you will struggle. You knew that already; but it’s not something I want you to worry about or consume yourself with right now.
Focus on where you are: focus on Bulgaria, your team, team Warriors, whatever comes your way. I am continuing to teach you in these moments where you feel no growth or feel like nothing is happening. Things ARE happening – remember some things take time to grow and develop. You can’t take on all of your problems all at once; we have a lifetime for that.
Don’t seek attention from others before you seek it out from Me. That will not be good for you – just trying to help you out. I need you to know, trust, and believe that I love you exactly how you are. You don’t need to think, say, or do anything special. I love you as you are because it’s how I made you. When will you just appreciate you for who you are – flaws and all? I don’t keep track of your flaws. I keep track of how you love and honor Me. I am all you need.
Be straightforward with your emotions – you can bring all of your ‘mess, ‘ to Me. There is nothing too big or too small for Me. These next 4ish months will be fast, not always what you expect, and at times be hard. Be ready to continue to face things head on. I am with you every step – you have nothing to be hesitant about. It’s time to step out of the boat and into the water with Me. You will not sink or drown. I am here. You are loved. I am so proud of you. DO NOT FEAR. Rejoice in Me, call out to Me. I am always listening and always ready to talk to you. Nothing is more important than you – so come to Me in all situations and at anytime. You could NEVER be a burden. You are NOT a burden, you are a human so stop living your life like you ARE a burden. You are My Child, My Daughter, My Bride. Nothing can ever take that away!”
