We’ve all had moments in life when we have felt like we needed tremendous faith to make it out okay. For some people, it might not be often that they rely on faith, for others it could be a daily thing. Faith itself should be a daily thing, not just a nice feeling to have around ‘when I’m struggling.’ I have to admit, I do struggle a little with faith in certain areas of my life, and one in particular that has been hard to hurdle is my faith in finances.
I won’t share a lot of detail about my life story, but I will say that for most my life I felt like I was stuck in an area of lack. My family struggled financially, and we went through many trials together because of it. And even though I grew up being told that God is my ultimate provider, and I do know that, I feel like I never really believed it. When God would show up and provide when I needed it, then I would believe it. But when I struggled and saw no victory, I also struggled then to really believe He could still provide.
I believe that in this last year He has been teaching me to grow my faith in that area. When I signed up for the Race I knew I had a long road of fundraising ahead. Honestly, I had days when I didn’t think it would be possible, and days where I felt like nothing was impossible, so raising all this money is possible! In the months that I raised only a few hundred I thought it was never going to happen, and in the months that I raised thousands I thought like the Israelites, ‘surely, God is fighting for me!’
How easy we can allow ourselves to forget all that God has already done and is currently doing. And especially often we don’t see how He could possibly provide for us in the future. Friend, I need your prayers with this one, because that is where I find myself.
I have faith in a God who can provide, but my human mind sometimes speaks louder than my heart. Practically speaking, I still have $2,900 left to raise to stay on the field. And God brought an opportunity to have half that matched by just one person. This person offered me $1,600. A few days ago, I was praying about my fundraising, and asking God to also provide for my mom to be able to come see me in Thailand for the Parent trip. It was then that God tested my faith by asking me if I could let that $1,600 go to my mom. I know that He desires for her to come, and He was asking me to pull my security net from out below me.
Do you ever have moments when you know God asked you to do something, and you talk about it and say how you don’t really know if you’ll do it, but you know in your heart that you’ve already made that decision and it’s a yes? That was me. I knew it that moment that I was going to do it, but I was still unsure about it. Because logically it doesn’t make sense. If I have an offer for that much money, when I still need double that amount, why offer that to my mom when I’m the one in trouble if my goal isn’t met?
Oh, God, you are asking me to take a leap of faith again. This is familiar territory, I have been here before. It’s not typically a comfortable place to be, but I have found myself here at various moments in my past, and seen God move in it. So, I’m going to stand in that field again. And while I’m in it, I might as well enjoy the flowers that are blooming all around me, instead of focus on the thorns. I like to think of those flowers as hope, and those thorns as doubt.
So, friends, that generous donor agreed to give that money for my mom to be able to come. Hallelujah, praise God! Because He provided that as the way for her to come. That means I need to raise an even bigger chunk of change for myself. Even though people who know about this have said that I should reconsider, and that it’s more important that I don’t jeopardize myself, I’m allowing space for God to move.
Sometimes I think that’s all He’s really asking for, is for some space to move. We keep ourselves so tightly squeezed to the problems of life, that to let go of them means potential to fail. We’re afraid of what could happen if we actually give our problems to God. Instead, we often just ask Him to intervene while still trying to fix the issues ourselves. But God wants to be invited in so that He can show you what it means to ‘ask and receive.’ He said to give Him all your cares, because He cares for you. He said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
So, I have decided to give Him this care. It’s out of my hands, I can’t do it. I’m making space for Him to do His own thing. I’m going to let the Holy Spirit prompt people’s hearts to give, and ask Him to also give me words to say so that I might be bold and unafraid of asking for funds. I am walking away from my problem, moving towards the promise, and trusting the bridge of faith to get me to that other side. Right now the bridge has a few flaws, but I’m seeing them repaired with every step I make.
Because I do have great faith in a big God. And I realized that after I made this choice. After all, if my faith was very weak, I wouldn’t have chosen this decision. But I do believe my God will come through. Just as I know He can come through for you in whatever way you are in need.
Be blessed,
Hope
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If this blog inspired you to give a donation to my mission, I’m so glad! God is working. It’s very easy to give online. At the top of this screen is a green bar, with a button that says ‘Donate.’ If you click on that all you have to do then is follow the instructions! Thank you so much for your giving, my heart sings for joy at the thought of your donation, and that I will be able to stay on the field.
