Yes Jacob, you read correctly… The desire to watch Star Wars and Harry Potter now consumes me constantly. Something about it has just been so relatable. Something about it just connects with me. How? What is it? I am not a Harry Potter or Star Wars fanatic and honestly, I don’t feel right joining it now.
During worship time one day, it just clicked. The Lord brought clarity about WHY these movies are consuming me. One of the aspects that I love about these movies is watching the characters struggle and struggle hard between the dark side and the side they believe they want to be on (the bright/ good side). I don’t know about you, but I’m EXACTLY like this. The earth in front of me, my desires and lusts of this world are strong and present and RIGHT there, but it’s not what I know I want in the end. In the end they don’t grow me, nourish me, or bring neither happiness nor joy to anyone around me.
I’ve heard that there are stories out there about how Harry Potter actually has a lot of spiritual twists to it because the author herself is Christian. But wow – who would have ever thought that these cravings for these movies had a purpose, had a meaning AND because of them, I don’t have to feel guilty that I finished all the Harry Potters in two and a half days while on the mission field here in Ethiopia (grant it, I was sick).
Lately I’ve been wondering a lot about what makes ME, Jessica Scherb, different from others. What makes me worth Christ saving? Why am I a “good person”? Usually followed by the question; am I actually a good person? A question that Harry Potter asked Sirius just shortly before you know what happened… Harry questioned how he was any different than Lord Voldermort because he kept seeing similarities of their skills/lessons/desires/thoughts.
Here in Africa I’ve been asking myself what makes me different from my enemy, what makes me different from non-believers, what makes me different from Satan? I have desires, I have selfish ambitions, I have temptations. Sometimes I even wish that I wasn’t a Christian because it would be “easier”, it would be “less straining”, it would be “less challenging” and honestly, it would be “less annoying”. Think about it, what do your friends do on the weekend? How many times do you have to say no? Wouldn’t it just be much easier to say yes and be a part of it for once?!
Watching Anakin in Star Wars decide right then and there while in the action which side he was going to side with reminds me of the question I ask myself often in many situations. To give in or not to give in, that is the question. Watching him choose the dark side just put this gasping sigh of disappointment in my heart, in the heart of many viewers. Knowing he had the strength to overcome all of his future trials if only he stood with his morals and good intentions.
This again reminds me a lot of myself. MOST times I tend to choose the ‘safe’ route, the ‘right’ one. The one that the Lord would want me to take. Because I wanted to in the moment? Not really, not really at all. But because I know that in the end, the right thing makes an easier future, a more promising future, one that fulfills the call/path the Lord has set out for me. I know even through the challenges, struggles and trials that the battles are there for a reason, to grow my strength and trust in my instincts.
I’m not a girl who wants to rebel and join the dark side to say the least. I must share that it is NORMAL to desire the things that we know aren’t beneficial to ourselves. And like all movies we watch whether the character chooses the good side or the dark side, the characters go through lessons and trials in the process and they too must learn from these lessons. Stubbornness sets apart growth from the dark side and the good side. If you are stubborn, you will not grow and learn for the good – you’ll remain stubborn and continue to try YOUR way rather than the way set before you.
I come from this mindset – the stubborn mindset. Sadly the dark side closed me off from what could have been poured in and instead I tend to focus more on myself and what I could do. Inward focus rather than outward action.
Love sets apart growth from the good side and the dark side. If you love, you tend to do nothing but grow and learn. You try many new ways, ways you would have never dreamt of. Ways that now become the very favorite parts of your days – like maybe eating with your hands from a common plate at the center of the table with many you just met, or finishing off with the darkest fresh roast coffee you’ve ever seen let alone tasted. Yes, these are all new things that I have come to LOVE and if you would have asked me a year ago to do this, I would have refused.
Something I have been learning AND working on is how to love others. How to allow myself to love and how to allow others to love me. Gosh, it stinks how much I love Harry Potter now, so if any of you ever want to have a marathon, you know who to call! The BIGGEST lesson that is reiterated throughout all of Harry Potter is the secret to what sets him apart from his enemy. What makes him undefeatable, what makes him more successful. Through trial, the series reveals that it is LOVE. Harry Potter is the “chosen one” because he is most loved. He was unable to be murdered as a child because of the sacrificial love of his mother. Watch it, you’ll see he could have never done anything without Ron and Hermione. They stood by his side throughout the entire fight, they reminded him that he couldn’t do it on his own and they begged him to LET them help. Who did Lord Voldermort have?! He tortured, black mailed, and put fear in to people to join his army. He killed those who would refuse to join or assist him when needed.
Gosh- love. What even is love? Is it fighting with someone because you’re comfortable enough to argue with them finally? Is it inviting them to dinner with you because you love going out to dinner? Is it remembering that they borrowed your DVD 12 years ago and have yet to return/give it back? Or is it going to get their favorite food? Listening to their story without interrupting? Is it learning to love coffee just so you can sit with them in a coffee shop for a few hours without becoming nauseous from the smell? Is loving someone remembering the past with them or is it all about experiencing new things in the now?
Harry Potter taught me that love is always standing by. Love is the support even in hard times. Love doesn’t die when that person dies, the hopes and dreams of that person lives through those that loved him/her. To love and to lose is far greater than to never love at all. Don’t be a Lord Voldermort and put fear into those so that they will respect you. Fear is no way to earn love. Support and life living is the way. How do you do that completely? How do you not live in the past? How do you love perfectly? Haha, these are all things that I don’t have answers to yet and they seem impossible on many days. The habit of remembering the past, the process of not holding an expectation for someone to disappoint me and to just live and WANT to live adventurously and do things is hard.
But hey –
We only see Harry Potter physically suffer a few times in retrospect to how many times he actually suffers throughout the entire series. Most of his sufferings are internal. They come from the enemy’s ability to directly affect him, why? Because the enemy left some of him within Harry and it wasn’t until Harry was willing to face death itself to rid him of it. I’m not saying to go kill yourself to get rid of the enemy – but I’m using it as symbolism to DIE TO YOURSELF. Do not be afraid, the healing process may take time but the afterlife is more than worth it.
Dying to yourself for me looks like getting rid of natural tendencies that are may be a part of who you are. However – plot twist! These attributes aren’t actually ME. They derive from the power of little demons that take over different tasks. Therefore, I am not working on making myself not stubborn; I am working on removing the demon of stubbornness from me. I am banning any spirit that does not derive from the Father out of me. WOW, is that taking quite the weight off of my own shoulders and it was weight that I shouldn’t have even been carrying in the first place.
I know, it sounds weird and crazy. But I figured if you could have dedicated any of your life or time being indulged with the wonderfulness of which the Harry Potter series carries, then you would be willing to give the understanding of this a try. We live in a world of spiritual battle. Demons vs. angels, we just can’t see them (cough cough a lot of people in Harry Potter couldn’t hear or see the things that Harry could). I know, separation from storybook to reality there but it’s written in the oldest history book we have. Try separating that? CRY OUT for the good name – cry out for the strength, the power, the ability and the trust that comes with love.
Love truly conquers all – Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, gosh, even finding Nemo – question is what is love? Do you have it?
