And why I definitely am
Honestly, it was hard to sit through the economic-capitalistic-consumer-madness of Black Friday, Super Sale Weekend, Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday without feeling a little like a small kid in the corner of a chaotic classroom with a timid hand in the air wondering ‘hey.. what about me? Hundreds of millions of dollars are being spent and I need just a liiiitle bit of that to do some good in this dang world!’ I thought about offering a Monday sale on my Etsy site. I thought on Tuesday about posting on Instagram for gifts. And I spent all week considering the irony of continually asking for help while spending my few remaining paychecks on supplies and evaluating the cost/benefit of taking high quality gear to poor and sometimes dangerous areas of the world. No answer on that quandary yet.
It takes a certain amount of confidence and courage to ask for help, to ask for donations, sales and money. As I sat silently in the chaos, fearing rejection and being ignored and feeling plain annoying, I once again reexamined what exactly I am doing and why. I had to remember WHO my confidence is in, why this trip will happen and place my courage in God’s ability to provide instead of my ability to create perfect posts, argue perfect logic or concoct perfect (slimy) marketing. SEE UPDATE BELOW!
There are many reasons why someone would want to backpack around the world for a year. Many people reveal their own heart’s desire when I tell them what I’m about to do.
But God has selected me for this specific trip in this specific time in history for an intentional purpose and it is NOT…
– To travel. Yes, I love traveling and this year will have 330ish days of it. But traveling as an American is always something I have felt sensitive about. I’ve never wanted to passively wander, get drunk in every major European city, or come home feeling like I’ve conquered something. When witnessing, learning, loving and experiencing God guides my intentions, continuing that in diverse communities and countries become a natural step!
– To flee America. Oh man have I heard this one from Portlanders since November 8th. While friends have alluded that the timing of this trip is perfect for escaping the madness brewing, I’m truly dismayed at the thought of leaving this country right now. There is so much work to do on a macro level and there is so much hurt in the lives of individuals around me. America needs thoughtful, loving, patient, brave ‘little Christs’ more obviously than ever. Please be that.
– To talk a lot and lecture based on my own brilliance. I was once forced to recognize the power of my white skin as a default authority in Africa, learning lessons I plan to share on here soon! But for now I’ll just say that I prioritize the power of listening, to learn and partner with people before I share. It’s always possible that I have a lot more to learn than I have to teach.
– To build up a reservoir of good stories. Although this will be a beneficial result of being homeless, dependent and lost in translation in Myanmar or El Salvador, I cannot imagine the safety risks associated with generating a good story. I hope to be present in each moment and trust that the story God is writing is bigger than anything I can create.
– To consume. I plan to eat a LOT of amazing food and appreciate multifaceted, unique and valuable cultures. I do not plan to flash around American dollars, ask for ingredient lists or overshare my opinions as a judgmental fact. Also, please stop making the joke about coming home with a hundred brown babies and start asking what you can do to support mothers in raising their child within a healthy family and community. While this isn’t always possible and adoption is a beautiful part of God’s heart, the jokes about going into the world and taking ‘home’ the cutest and brightest reeks of a consumer imperialism that makes my blood boil. Deep breath.
– To be a white savior, the complex of which is “a perception that white folk have that they are the benevolent benefactors of helpless others”. Please see Barbie Savior as an example. But more than the distaste these hilarious pictures represent, I cannot save anyone because I need Jesus to save me every day and God is actively saving the world as we speak/write/read! Using my hands to help His cause and display His supernatural love always points receivers back to its origin: Jesus. “There is no love which does not become help” – Paul Tillich.
– To create myself or, even more dangerous, to create an image of what I want you to think I am. I want to press into God to discover who He created me to be and my purpose in Him. He already has a plan for me that will reveal my true identity, purpose and worth in Him so the pressure it off to create anything of myself.
– To escape my life. Years ago, my escapism mindset did spark my interest in ‘11 countries in 11 months’. I had romantic visions of saving money in secret and then announcing to family and friends that I had established this plan on my own and I’d see them all later, leaving behind an astonished, impressed and sad group of humans who wish they were as cool and independent as me. I would disappear in a cloud of mystery and reappear a whole new Hannah with dreads and inner peace and cool tattoos. With this perspective, I wasted years as a human wrecking ball until I found out: There is no escape from this life except for the freedom found in Christ. So I no longer seek to leave but to be sent by a loving and engaged community. You. (The tattoos will be a bonus.)
I will not be able to go on this trip without you. Jesus and his disciples lived on the financial and material support of others, mostly women (Luke 8). So I’ve gotten over myself and I’m asking for help because it’s what Jesus did and because it’s not about me and because I trust in a generous beautiful God who loves you and calls you to be generous too!
Please purchase a beautiful desk calendar on Etsy ($20)! These do make great Christmas gifts!
Donate money to my race fun directly ($1-$10,000) UPDATE: To the person who anonymously donated $500 while I was drafting this blog. Thank you for being a human of action and generosity. Thank you for being a tool of God’s provision and encouragement. Your support and timing are Jesus-filled whether that was your intention or not! You proved to me yet again that God doesn’t need my self-satisfying yammering to get things done.
See my Amazon Wishlist or REI registry and donate a thing ($8-$200)!
Venmo: WorldRacerReid Seriously, $5-$10 really helps! Some of you received a request from my birthday for a $5 donation towards my World Race Journey! I was able to cash out the responses half way through the day and buy my tent! I’m actually still receiving from generous friends and family and hope to use the next cash out for a pack converter which will protect my backpack on flights and buses, or a waterproof jacket which I will need for the 22-25 days of rain predicted for March in Madagascar and September in Costa Rica!
Happy December friends! The countdown to launch is at 36 days!
Thank you so much for your continued support and prayers!
Xo Hannah
