I recently realized that it’s been exactly 2 years since I left Canal Winchester, Ohio with my mom to road trip 9 hours down into Atlanta, Georgia to begin the journey of my World Race. I left with little idea what I was doing and a heart full of excitement of the adventure I was starting.
And it changed my life.
This morning I sat in Guatemala blown away and full of gratitude of all God can accomplish and do in my heart in 2 years. From traveling all over the world with 50 beautiful people for 9 moths to moving back home only tethered to the promise that God asked me to and that he would be so near. Then, heading back out into the mission field in Guatemala- full of joy and passion and promises that I’ve know to be true.
I’m so thankful that I get to continually adventure with Jesus, who knows my heart much better than I do. On that note, below is a letter to myself — what I wish I could have heard month 1 of my World Race.
Dear Han,
You deserve this. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be and you know it. Soak it in and joyfully accept this gift that Jesus has invited you into.
This is not high school. The things you did to succeed those 4 years will not help here. People pleasing. Passivity. Shame. They’ll actually hold you back from true and deep relationship with the people around you.
The people around you deserve the messy and real you. Share your thoughts even if you don’t have perfect words for them. Enjoy and rest in the process of stripping off your false self and humbly learning to walk into your true self.
Stop feeling shame about your testimony. Don’t compare your story to the people around you. Live in gratefulness for how God has met you — it’s full of protection and intimacy.
Stay up late painting and having deep conversations and dancing like a fool and eating snacks in the kitchen and watching movies. Find joy in the daily moments.
You will look your students in the eye and tell them that Jesus saves and is the only One who can satisfy. That is enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Call home more. Just do it.
Rest. You don’t have to fear that you’ll miss out on everything everyone is doing. You greatly deserve to take time to fill your soul. You also don’t have enough money to adventure every weekend…
Be a friend. Celebrate people hard. And have compassion. Don’t wait for people to come to you, seek them out. Make them feel seen and heard. These people will redeem what you believed friendship was.
Pour yourself out and listen well. But not in exchange for your own peace and joy. That’s a big thing.
This will be one of the sweetest seasons of your life. Write it all down. You’ll need to stand on the truth that God’s speaking in this season.
You have a perspective that is unique to who you are. Your words matter and it’s always worth it to share your thoughts. Jesus didn’t let people walk all over Him. You can’t look like Jesus if you don’t know how He lived- study Him.
God is bigger and better than who you know Him as right now. Humble yourself and have the heart posture of a student to learn from Jesus and the people around you.
I am sitting where I am today and who I am today because of the prayers you prayed and the life you decided to press deep into. Thank you.
Love, Han
