Luke 14:33 “So therefore, anyone of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.”
When at Target looking through racks of cute shirts we always search for the tag to see the price before deciding if we really like the top or not. At a restaurant we look at the menu and decide between the prime rib and the grilled chicken breast not based on taste but on if we can really afford the prime rib or not. Even when we are booking plane tickets we search at least 49 different websites looking for the best price because we don’t want to pay too much for something we could get cheaper.
We are seekers. Sometimes we just aren’t seeking the best things. We decide that the best is just too much- so we settle.
In India I found myself napping one day. If you know me well then you know I’m not a napper. So this is a shock to the both of us that I was laying still enough during the day to fall asleep. (I might have a resting problem) Even crazier, I had a dream during my nap! What! In my dream I was living a very normal life. I came home to America, got a typical job, met some guy and got married, had babies and did all the normal life things. I woke up from that dream to Gods voice saying, “You are mourning this ordinary life when you asked me for an extraordinary one”. SHOTS FIRED GOD!
He was right. I never wanted ordinary. I have never been ordinary. I have always desired a life of adventure and risk! But for some reason I was still scared by the life that he was calling me into. I didn’t really want to step out and trust him enough to do what he was asking of me. I thought the price was too high and I was nervous about what I would have to give up.
BUT. What I have learned in my 22 years on this earth is that Gods plan for our life is WAY better than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves. He has already bought and paid for our prime rib and we are still debating on whether or not to just go with the chicken breast.
God doesn’t want us to settle. He wants us to ask him for big things and believe that he will do greater than we dreamt.
So, I’m gunna put on my big girl panties. I’m going to lay down my fleshly wants at his feet, take up my cross, and follow him with my eyes fixed on his. I need to remember that this is an opportunity to be obedient to God and just say YES.
Even so, lately I have still been struggling with the cost. It’s crazy how even when we know better doubt still somehow creeps in. What is the real cost of following God down the rabbit hole?
As I am trying to make a mental list of the things and relationships I would be giving up in my pursuit of Jesus they all fall short. I try to write them down but before my pen touches the paper I realize how trivial they really are.
When I wipe the fear from my eyes I can see that what I am laying down doesn’t have as much value as what I am picking up. I am laying down my life and picking up the cross.
John 10:17 says, “For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father”.
My prayer is that I will put whatever I have in my hands at his feet so I can be free to pick up my cross.
I trust that God has a beautiful life full of mystery ahead of me. I will remind myself everyday that he is the only thing I really want. So giving up my life for what he is calling me into may seem like a great loss now but I know that at the end of my life I won’t even remember how much it cost.
Jesus is enough for me.
Please pray that God will continue to give me clarity on what he wants me to do next and that I won’t fear it but free fall into it.
XOXO,
EM
Luke 1:45
“And blessed is she who believed that there would be fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”
Psalms 84:1
“No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”
