Wow! Three years since my squad of 52 (starting off as 54), returned home. It is hard to believe so much time has passed so quickly. My friendships, community, and life look completely different then I picture on my last day as a missionary for the World Race.
How could my final days as a missionary be so long ago? The hot Malaysian air mixed with feelings of uncertainty. Ready or not, we were heading home.
The World Race is a precious thing. You will get to see Christ move in amazing ways as you journey to places you may never see again.
Life is a journey and I have a few points for those of you learning to adjust to major change.
Fear is the enemy’s way of distracting us. Once we accept Christ there is a battle going on in our lives. You can be on the mission field, or at the workplace, the battle is real. If we do not see the battle, we deceive ourselves.
Many people are guaranteed a place to live at home or with family once returning from the mission field. Unfortunately, I did not have such luxuries. I was unemployed and processing a year-long trip without any real-time to settle in or take a break. Money was required for survival and needed fast.
The bible indicates very strongly God’s children will never be left without. After the mission field, I found myself wondering where am I to go and what am I going to eat.
God’s love was shown as People opened up their homes, I was invited to dinner, received gifts, and spent many hours with people who were fascinated by my time as a missionary. In time I was provided a new career opportunity. An apartment to live in and I was blessed with furniture after a friend moving out of state left his behind for me.
Three months after moving in I was laid off from the opportunity. Still optimistic, I sent out application after application for nothing. 800 resumes later I started to believe I had some kind of black mark and was given an apartment only to lose it.
I was hired a month before I ran out of rent money. The opportunity was not my ideal choice, yet I was thankful for anything. God would use this opportunity to mold me into a better writer, leader, and employee. Only now I can see the big picture. I had to go through the pain to accept what God wanted me to be given.
My missionary experience as a World Race participant opened my eyes to healings, deliverance, unbelievable feelings of love, and an understanding of God’s heart for the world.
Why was I so worried about losing my apartment? Did I not think God would provide or open a new door?
Looking back at this time period now, I feel foolish to think the worst. Jesus will always be my provider.
I realized it is hard to love and leave; it requires strength to let go, to move on, which is why most people just sit around holding grudges.
My advice to any missionary reading this is to get up and move on with your life. There is nothing wrong with processing the year, but do not process it too long. Keep thinking about what God has next for you and pursue it. Your path may have changed, yet your guide is the same.
If you are having difficulty adjusting to life after being a missionary, try to find a place to rest quietly. Whatever rest means to you. You will need a break from being a missionary.
You will feel loved again.
Since leaving the mission field, I have gone on to make new friends, started attending a new church, and changed careers. I may be living in the same County, yet everything is different. My life is different in a way I could never have imagined.
Conclusion:
Three years later I am able to say goodbye. I guess I had more room to grow. Perhaps I did not learn everything I needed to on the mission field or maybe this is the normal process everyone experiences.
I do not know. I am not a psychiatrist nor an expert on human behavior. All I know is God has an amazing future for those who love Him and change is heading my way. Not sure where it will lead, or how it is going to look, but I am excited about the future.
Goodbye World Race and after season! You will be more appreciated then missed.
