Sorry its taken me over a week to write this. But, I really needed a whole week to process what happened on Thanksgiving day in Ecuador.
sometimes I doubt God… sometimes my mind wonders off to places like “what if none of this stuff is even real?” Sometimes I question what the heck I’m doing in Ecuador working at some private school. Sometimes I ask God the simple question of, “Why me?”
Waking up, the morning of Thanksgiving day, these thoughts were coming on extra strong. I couldn’t figure out why… My team and I had been planning this day for a month now! We already decided that we would play some games with all the kids and then Chloe would give a message on who Jesus is! God also spoke and said, “While you’re at it, do an alter call too” (Which is where we lead the students in a prayer to give their life to Christ). My team and I even fasted from food for three days, to be in diligent prayer about this special day to come.
I was so thankful for the opportunity to share about His love to over 200 hurting students. But all that kept running through my mind is, “you aren’t good enough to get up there and talk. these kids don’t care about what you have to say”. It was honestly torturing but of course I didn’t let anyone see what I was going through because I’m the joyful and confident Chloe!
So, I get up there to speak to the junior high kids… I remember praying, asking God to just speak through me. I talked about the thanksgiving table and how Jesus has a table too. I began to tell the kids that each of them have a seat with their name on it. After this, it was a blur. All the sudden Im doing the alter call and at least 30 junior high students raised their hands and gave their lives to Christ.
Then, immediately after I had to do it again for the High Schoolers.. but this one was so much different. Ive had the pleasure to teach them and get to know them these past couple months. Very few of them know that Jesus is their savior. I knew that this talk was going to change some of their lives for the rest of Eternity. So, I start the message the same way. Fast forward about 10 minutes and all I remember was this moment. I looked around, and saw all the beautiful faces that Ive fallen in love with. And I saw some of them in heaven with me… and others, I saw separated from their father in heaven for the rest of Eternity.
In this moment.. the presence of God was more real then the ground I was standing on. I immediately broke down in front of everyone. As tears were falling down my face, I began the alter call. Moments later… at least 20 students gave their life to Christ.
God did not let my doubt get in the way of His children coming home. God did not let my disbelief stop me from telling these kids the love their Father in Heaven has for them. I no longer need to question what I am doing here… If God opened a door for me to graduate a year early, stumble upon the world race, raise enough money to get here, just so that 50 of his lost children would come home forever… thats more than enough for me.
I also realized that separate from God, I am nothing. But with Him, I am his beloved and He is my savior. When I don’t feel good enough, He is right there in my ear telling me I am a good and faithful servant.
This day, I will never forget… What a happy flippen Thanksgiving 🙂
