For a long time I had stopped trying because I did not think I was qualified or worthy. God broke some serious chains on this subject in my life. Over and over during worship I would hear, “Alyssa, you are worthy, you are a daughter of the King” and I just kind of was like, thanks God. I knew that, but I didn’t actually believe it about myself. I didn’t walk around as a daughter of the King.
Two weeks ago I started my training for the World Race in Georgia. It didn’t take God long to break me down. I only lasted until Wednesday, day two, in the morning session. The speaker, Hope, was talking on sadness and the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). After she spoke, they told us to go have some alone time with the Lord. I found a warm, sun ray filled spot in the grass and started having a conversation with God. When I sat with the Lord He kept telling me I am was worthy and loved. I was in denial about the choices I’ve made; how far I let things go in past relationships, the things I’ve said to people, and things that people have said to me. I didn’t want it to let it hurt me. I never really dealt with it, I never fully grieved it. That was until this past Wednesday. I accepted the things that I have done, I grieved parts of my life that I will never get back, and I gave it all to God. It isn’t an overnight fix, I still think lies about myself, but I have identified that those thoughts are just that, lies! I have started to replace the lies with truth. I started to re-write the shame tape that played over and over in my head.
The World Race leaders believe in community and vulnerability. Once I began to discover all of this about myself, I started to share it with one of my teammates. It took me a couple of days, but I did it eventually. It was extraordinarily hard to be so vulnerable but it was so freeing! It was hard to share the things I have done, and the words I believed about myself but God is using my story to help other people. I am a willing vessel.
Training Camp tested me in so many different ways; spiritually, mentally, and physically, but God put so many people on my team that were able to speak truth into my life and I am so thankful for that.
Thank you so much to everyone who has partnered with me so far! I am currently over 50% OF THE WAY FUNDED! Praise Jesus! I would not have been able to have this incredible experience without each and every one of you! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you and anything you need prayer for.
I only need $998 by December 10th to launch with my team in January and I am only $7,915 away from being fully funded!
