After realizing that I was called to go into missions I looked for different opportunities. I wanted to see what the qualifications were for different organizations. I wasn’t sure what focus I wanted to do yet. My interests varied from disaster relief, human trafficking, orphans and a few others. So when I first started looking at different organizations to apply to I kept my search inside the United States because although I was interested in serving in other countries, it did not seem like a possibility. As the process went on the search area got smaller and smaller. At first I was willing to go to any state, which quickly went down to 48, because I obviously want to stay in touch with my family. I was telling God I want to serve you and go into missions but I would like my job to be close to Denver, where I currently live. I am comfortable here and don’t really feel like leaving so what do you have for me in Denver? I have a great church, friends, my family is here, so if it is okay with you, I’m going to hang out here and see what you give me. I was scared. I gave Him my future but I didn’t trust Him with it. I wanted to be handed an opportunity without changing anything. I was afraid to fail. What if I had to move, what if I couldn’t see my family, what if I didn’t excel in what I did, what if I didn’t like what I was doing? I became more concerned about what I wanted to do and less concerned about what God wanted me to do. I quit before I even started. What I was essentially doing was telling God to give a plan of what he wanted to do with my life but before he gives me a plan here are some things I need him to consider beforehand. I did not trust in God. Doesn’t make much sense does it? I was afraid to move across state lines now I am taking an 11 month trip out of the country? Am I crazy?
My dream is to do short term missions. God gave me that dream. I have decided to keep the door open instead of closing it out of fear. I am following the call that He has given me, I now have faith in God to fulfill his plans through me. I have faith in God’s plan even when I truthfully don’t understand his plan. My point of view has changed. I am not trying to do this on my own anymore; I can’t do this on my own!
I have given my future up to God and am trusting in Him. This includes the fear of the unknown. I am not comfortable with this trip, I am not certain I will excel in every aspect of it. But that’s the beauty of trusting in God. You see that’s one thing I realized when preparing for this trip, I am not qualified at all and there is no possible way I can do this trip on my own. That is where God comes in. I don’t need to know nor have things planned, I trust in him and I can do all things through him who strengthens me. I am casting all my fears on God knowing that his plan is better than mine can ever be.
Mark 1:17-18 Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will turn you into fishers of people.” They left their nets immediately and followed him.
