We partnered with a crazy awesome orphanage last month in Swaziland. If you have been keeping up with my blogs, you may know, this race has been a learning experience for me in loving children. In Vietnam, I realized they weren’t so bad after all, however, my opinion wavers slightly from time to time depending on the situation. In spite of all the times my glasses have been snatched off my face, my earrings have been pulled out and thrown off the balcony, or been randomly, for no reason at all punched in the nuts, I have realized, if I just pay attention, I can actually learn valuable lessons from kids.
We ran games and crafts with the kids every Saturday, almost like a mini VBS. There were eight of us on team “Atnaf” (there is a click right after the “N,” try to say it, it’s pretty fun) and 6 stations, so one station we would double up, and the other person would usually walk around with Gracie. Gracie is an awesome little girl who, when this orphanage took her in, had cerebral palsy and meningitis. She wasn’t supposed to live, much less walk, however, now she is thriving. She needs a little help walking due to the palsy, and the meningitis left her legally blind, however, she seems to be one of the happiest little girls I’ve ever met.
While I was helping her walk from station to station, I felt the Lord starting to soften my heart for a lesson. After we arrived at the wonderful land of coloring pages, I sat down with her and Brian, one of the long term volunteers, told me I would have to guide her hand during this project. I held the paint brush in her hand and dipped it in the water colors, telling her the color we were using, and the shape in which I was moving her hand. She would repeat what I said back to her with a smile and then we would continue with a different color and shape, after a quick rinse of the brush. What happened next touched me so much, I was almost in tears.
After a few minutes of painting, my shoulder began to grow tired from the angle, so I rinsed the brush, and let go of Gracie’s hand. The very moment I let go, her face transformed from her usual huge smile, to a look of lost confusion, and borderline panic. She began frantically looking around for the person who was just guiding her hand but, even though I was right there, she couldn’t see me because she is blind. When I saw her panic, I gently placed the brush back in her hand and relief washed over her expression, as we continued the project as before.
Then I began thinking,
how many times in my life have I started to freak out because I didn’t feel the Lord’s hand on the situation I was in, even though He was right there the entire time?
And how many times have I been crippled with anxiety when I couldn’t see him working because I was spiritually blind, sending me into a panic trying to do things on my own, when He was graciously sitting right next to me working on something in the background?
Sit back, take a second, and read that last paragraph in your own context, relating it to your own life. Remember a time you had anxiety about something, then a few days, weeks, or even months later, you realized God had his hand on that situation all along, but you just couldn’t see Him.
The gospels are riddled with examples of these moments. for example, John 18:19-22 reads, “Jesus answered, ‘Destroy this sanctuary, and I will raise it up in three days.’ Therefore the Jews said, ‘This sanctuary took 46 years to build, and will You raise it up in three days?’ But He was speaking about the sanctuary of His body. So when He was raised from the dead, His disciples remembered that He had said this. And they believed the Scripture and the statement Jesus had made.”
If you think about the timeline here, this proclamation which Jesus made didn’t make sense to the disciples until almost 3 years later. So don’t feel bad, the disciples physically walked with Jesus and even they had trouble grasping what he was doing right in front of their eyes.
I will leave you with one of Paul’s final exhortations to the Hebrews (13:5-6), “He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.’ Therefore, we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.”
Even if you can’t feel the Lord’s presence, or see his hand on what you are doing (first check to see if you are being obedient, see my blog, “Obedience Brings Intimacy” for that), just remember this verse. It has given me encouragement since I was a little kid and I believe it can give you encouragement as an adult too. No matter where we go or what we are doing, even if we can’t feel Him, it is a rock solid promise from Jesus that He will always be there. It’s just up to us to believe and trust that He is who He says He is.
