The World Race is super exciting… the first 7 months. In the first months, you’re pumped for everything. New country. New culture. New ministry. New living situation. Sometimes, new team. New continent. Another airplane. Another bus. But after half a year, it starts to get old. The excitement wears down. You begin to feel the true weight of a year traveling abroad.

In month 7, I saw my father in Swaziland, Africa for a week of ministry. And after that, my heart and my mind have been set on home.

I hit a huge wall in Month 9 (Chile). I found myself going through the motions, dragging myself day after day. I was getting tired of all the new details every month. Nothing was constant anymore, and that might have been fun and exciting the first half of the race, but at this point it really had just worn me down. I no longer had any familiarity, nothing was stable or certain, not even our schedule or bathing situation was reliable each month.

I won’t sugar coat it. This is the reality of life. We all hit walls at some point or another. I was tired of people staring at me as I walked down the street, I was tired of people coming up to me speaking a language I didn’t understand and apologetically smiling at them. I was getting tired of not being in charge of my own schedule. I eventually had a breakdown in an elementary school bathroom- completely physically and emotionally drained, missing my home.

Going into Debrief in Bolivia, I couldn’t help but feel discouraged.

Until we were getting on our bus to Apolo, Bolivia. Everything changed.

Our host came up to our team and said, “I want you to pray about going with the team into Mojos.”

Let me set the scene. The other team we were with, Team Send It, was going a total 64 miles into the Amazon Jungle to reach a small village called Mojos. It consisted of 17 families, and the Gospel had only been introduced there 5 years ago. These people have been around for 400 years.

As soon as this idea was presented, I let it sink in. I would have to divide my stuff, bring only what is necessary, strap on my backpack, and walk through a jungle to reach a people the majority of the world probably know nothing about.

If I needed a change of pace, this was it. If I needed an answered prayer from God, here it was.

So, we prayed about it. And we did it.

It took a 6 hour truck ride, a river crossing in a small boat, 2 days of hiking, then we stayed at a small village called Soriani for 2 days to help clear a field. They want to move the people of Mojos to this village because they can’t get teachers all the way out to Mojos.

Then one more day of brutal hiking, and we were at Mojos. We hiked up mountains over 2,000ft tall, and crossed rivers, getting our shoes and pants wet. We had to pack our food, so our packs weighed anywhere from 20lbs-30lbs. We each have bruises on our hips from the weight of it. We hiked for miles in the heat in the humidity of the jungle. We got splinters, stung by bees, bit by flies, slipped down steep mountain trails, bathed in freezing cold, fast moving rivers, fit multiple people in tents… Seeing that village was the light at the end of a crazy, sweaty journey. And it never felt so good to be there. Seeing the children jumping for joy at the end of it all made every step and bee sting worth it.

Hiking 64 miles gives you a lot of quality time with your thoughts. I got to think over the things I have learned over the course of these past 11 months. So this brings me to 11 things I’ve learned, in Christianity and in life in general.

1) First and foremost- we are all capable of so much more than we think. There were so many times this month where I thought, “This is it. I can’t continue. I can’t breathe. I can’t keep my eyes open. I am so tired. I’m so dirty. I’m pretty sure that poop smell is me. I haven’t showered in 5 days. What day is it? I can’t do this.” There were a handful of times my mind was completely blank and my body just kept moving. And yet I found myself at the end of the day setting up my tent, 15 more miles into the Amazon. Self-Doubt and the Victim Mentality is the thief of courage and persistence and self discovery. Courageous people don’t live forever, but people who are paralyzed by fear never live at all. You can do it. Whatever it is. I promise you.

2) You can’t do it alone. You need your people. I know the American culture likes to promote or favor those who are strong individuals, those who are self-sufficient. We love to be able to think we can do it all with no help. But we can’t. And even if we can, we can save ourselves a lot of suffering and hardships if we just ask for help. Did you know that the people that are always offering their help, are the ones who struggle most to ask for it? Ask for it. You need your people. We can’t carry our burdens all on our own. Our first and bravest task in life is asking for support.

3) Forgiveness is a real thing. And it begins with yourself. Only then will you be able to fully understand the meaning of forgiving others. Forgive your ex for doing you wrong (but don’t get back together with them). Forgive your boss for making you come in on a Saturday (but let’s be honest, that’s really not cool). Forgive your mother for asking you multiple times over the holidays why you’re still single (but assure her that YES you are fine and still breathing without a boyfriend). And sometimes, we don’t forgive other people for them, but for us, so that we can find inner peace. So forgive yourself, forgive others, and move on. You deserve to.

4) Stop complaining about how old you are getting, and how young you used to be. In the words of the writer Anne Lammott, “I am every age I’ve ever been, and so are you.” I thought about this a lot while on the hike. There are some days I feel like I just had my 16th birthday, and want to steal my parents car and go pick up my friends. There are times when I feel like I’m a child again, running barefoot in the grass and eating my weight in lollipops and popsicles. There are days where I feel I’m my grandmothers age, when I have dealt with way too many things beyond my maturity level. Then there are days where I say, no, I’m definitely just 24. But the truth is, we are a combination of all the ages we’ve been. Like they say, age is just a number, and our true self, our true identity is outside of space and time. You are every age you’ve ever been. Don’t let a number restrict you or affect your mood.

5) People have to find their own way. You can’t hold people’s hands their entire life. Sometimes, people just have to figure it out on their own. You have to take a step back, as hard as it is. It’s a disservice to their journey if you keep smothering them with your help. There’s only so much we can do at a time. At a certain point, you just have to let go, and let them work it out between themselves and the Big Man upstairs.

6) Grace. Grace is freaking real. And it’s powerful. Love and duty can be two separate things, and they can coexist. This is where grace comes in. Love can be making your friends or family coffee in the morning, but it certainly isn’t duty. Duty is cleaning up after yourself. But when love and duty are one, then grace is within you. So find your balance of love and duty. Grace meets you where you’re at, but it doesn’t leave you there. It picks you up and moves you onward. Buckle up when it finds you, and hold on.

7) Nature is one of the most powerful and direct connections a human can have with God. There’s a quote by Emerson that says, “The happiest person on Earth is the one who learns from nature the lesson of worship.” Go outside more. You don’t have to travel to the amazon jungle to appreciate nature. Drink your coffee on the porch in the mornings and afternoons. Look up at the stars. Take your dog and family on a hike, or just go by yourself. Buy a hammock. Take the time to appreciate the birds you hear in the spring mornings on your way to work. There’s nothing better than getting quiet. Hearing the sound of a bubbling creek is much more spiritual than hearing the early morning traffic on the highway. Did you know being barefoot in the grass releases endorphins in your brain? That’s no accident. Get connected again.

8) People and cultures are not so different than we think. I have been to 3 different continents, and in each one, even though the language and culture were different, we never failed to laugh with one another. “Laughter is cultivated holiness.” (Anne Lammott again- she rules). Humor and happiness and love and pain and hate are universal. Don’t let outward differences distance or discourage you. As cliche as it is to say this- we are all human. And we all have one thing in common- we are just trying to figure it out, and we all have no idea what we’re doing half the time. We are all just as scared and unsure as the other. I promise you- no one is ahead of you.

9) Vulnerability is the foundation of connection, so share your stories. To be vulnerable is to feel. Think of the last time you saw someone do something really brave. They were probably being vulnerable, right? In the words of Brene Brown, “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences.” And I couldn’t agree more. The greatest part is, we can be loved FOR our vulnerabilities, not despite them. This is how God loves us, and how we need to love ourselves and each other. So be braver each time. Let’s be honest, life in itself is a God-given miracle. Share your God given story. It’s your duty, and frankly why you were born. And if people respond poorly to your vulnerabilities and story, that’s because they’re cowardly, and/or are secretly jealous of you.

10) Gratitude. Being grateful in all circumstances. Celebration. Leaving room for fun. Don’t take what you have for granted. Celebrate it. There’s a quote from Grey’s Anatomy that says, “Just the fact that we have the courage to still be standing at the end of the day, is reason enough to celebrate.” I’m not saying you should march yourself down to the local bar and get trashed with your friends (although I won’t deny a good wine date with your friends can be very beneficial) I’m saying take the time to lean into the joy you feel in your accomplishments, or just to feel joy at all. Finding the light in each day. The first night on the hike, when we all had made it, we celebrated. We cheered and whooped and ate some warm spaghetti and drank chocolate milk. We laughed about the hardships of the day and shared our struggles. We all were exhausted, smelly unshowered, far from home. Leaning into joy cultivates hope. Hope in ourselves, in God, in our futures. Celebrate them. Have a dance party. Jam out in the shower. Take pictures. We have enough pain in the world. Find the joy, find your people, and lean into it.

11) This brings me to my last point. And I think it’s my strongest. My favorite verse is in Jeremiah 29:11-13. ” ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” That has been my favorite verse for as long as I can remember. But this month, while visiting a girl in Mojos with Cerebal Paulsy, my teammate Brittany revisited this verse, and shared it with her family. She said the next verse is often overlooked. Jeremiah 29: 14 ” ‘I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord.”

I will be found by you.

So the final thing I’ve learned, is that if we truly want to find purpose, meaning, love, light, hope, goodness, everything that God is… we have to give it 100%. You have to try. And God doesn’t intend to leave us hanging. He promises He will be on the other end- of your hike, your journey, whatever it is – waiting for you. He will be found by you. So open your heart. Change your perspective. Be afraid, but don’t let fear hold you back. Fight. Hike. Get there.

He’s waiting.

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I hope these truths and lessons I’ve learned speak to all of you at home, or out here on the race with me, or those considering to do the race. I will be coming home in about 4 weeks time. I hope you all know how grateful I am that anyone takes the time to read these in the first place. Regardless of where you are, we are all learning the same things, every day. We are all on the same journey.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt