“Owning our story can be hard not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy-the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” -Brene Brown
Month 4 – Cambodia. Where do I begin? From my previous blog, I opened up about my emotions and how this month began for me- not so good. It was hard to snap out of the abyss of my mind for a few days. Even my teammates noticed it. But I had a decision to make. I could be swallowed by the hurt… but that would only lead to me missing out on the INCREDIBLE ministry that has blessed me so well this month.
I’ll begin with our hosts- Sok Eng and Khema. This Cambodian couple live by example. We are their first world race team- such an honor. They have catered to our every need and request, and then some. They cook for us, educated us on the Cambodian meals we eat, did our dishes, drove us to our ministry sites, and overall are the most hospitable people I have ever met. The way these two have provided for us, included us in their daily lives has been the biggest blessing. Within days we felt like we were part of their family. From family movie night to small chit chat working in the kitchen, the love grows stronger every day. One of my favorite things to do is go to the market with Khema. If you ask what something is, she will let you try it. Safe to say I never go hungry. Every day when we return home from work, their 3-year-old Son, Omnor, comes running out of the house yelling, “Hello, I am here! Welcome back!” And it just about melts my heart every time.
(Khema, Sok Eng, their daughter Harade under him, and Omnor sitting on the stone. The lion statues were stolen from this temple, and they wanted to fill in. Lol.)
(Sok Eng and Omnor, the little hand sign he’s doing means ‘cheese’)
Basically, from Monday to Friday, we teach English from 9:30am to 10:30am. We teach the teachers of the local government school, so that could continue to teach students basic English. Then from 3:30pm to 4:30pm we return to the school and teach a different set of teachers. Then, from 5:30pm to 6:30pm we go to the local church and teach the youth groups. The eagerness to learn is so clear on their faces. I have grown to love going to the schools, finding myself leading classes instead of hanging out in the background. I want to teach them as much as they want to learn.
Loud “Hellooooooooo!”s bellow from the locals as we travel around town. If you smile and wave back, you have made their day. When food is present, it is always shared- no question. When it’s your birthday, don’t be surprised when your Cambodian friends feed you cake from a spoon (it’s tradition). Somedays, your students bring you different market foods and beverages to try. Sometimes, they make sandwiches at home and bring them to you. I could go on. It’s possible the Cambodian people are the kindest people on the planet.
Lastly, I’d like to introduce you to Nhor. Our sweet and gentle man that drives us everywhere in his truck. This man new nothing about Jesus or Christians before we first arrived. We included him in everything- we shared our snacks, invited him to church, invited him to go with us to the pool on our off day (I think he likes the pool more than we do), included him in our English classes, and simply invited him in to everything we do. And because of this – he has told our host he wants to accept Christ into his heart as well.
(Anna Bonita and Nhor with our afternoon snack- watermelon)
My teammate Brittany brought to our attention- we haven’t even spoken to him about Christ. He doesn’t even speak that much English. He wants to be a part of this Kingdom simply by seeing the way we lived our lives.
Sometimes all you need to do is invite someone to the water park with you on your day off, and they have a one way ticket to the Kingdom.
And to think I could have missed all of this by staying inside my head, letting my past get the best of me. I would have never felt the joy of seeing teachers successfully pronounce an English word correctly, never felt the excitement as I dove into the pool with my teammates, never felt the contagious laughter of the children at youth group, never felt the love when I saw Khema kissing her children, never felt the inspiration as my teammates went over ideas for the day, and never cried on my birthday from honestly having the best day ever.
You see, I think when we numb the bad emotions, we numb the good ones too. We can’t just pick and choose which feelings we don’t want to feel- we choose one, it all goes down. So, in order to feel all the good feelings this month, I had to let the darkness in. I had to feel the pain. I’m still feeling it now.
I would do it over again in a heartbeat, because when I reaped joy and laughter and compassion and kindness from my days- MAN did it feel good. Month 4- please don’t end.
From Cambodia with love,
Hayley
