I wanted it all.
The job. The house. The car. The clothes. The name brand purse. The mani and pedi every two weeks. The money, oh how I wanted the money. The more I earned the more I wanted. The more things I consumed the more I wanted. The more I acquired the more and better I had to have. I envied others with nicer things than mine. I worked harder and longer to achieve these goals of mine.
I had everything I had ever worked for. I had the job, the house, a closet of more clothes than any girl could ever need, I had my Coach purses sitting in a row, I had newly gel polished nails and yet I felt empty and desired more. I knew I NEEDED more.
“Everything is meaningless” Ecclesiastes 1:2
Everything is meaningless…. WITHOUT GOD. Yes I had everything that my fleshly body could have ever wanted, yet I was not satisfied. I was not happy. I was not content. These worldly desires that I had sought for so long had done nothing for me. Did they make me look good? Yes. Did they make me happy momentarily? Yes. Did I feel accomplished having these things? Yes. Did I truly enjoy my life trying to have all of these possessions? No! I was utterly and completely miserable in the life I had. I worked so much to try and obtain all the things I wanted that I could never enjoy what I had. Something was missing. Something that could not be bought. Something that no 9-5 paycheck could get me anyway. I knew something had to give. I knew a change had to be made.
Fast forward 4 months into the Race. I am the happiest and most content I have ever been in my entire life. I am the daughter of the living King. I am chosen. I am living a life for my Father. This life here is far from glamorous. We live out of backpacks. I have about 5 options for outfits on a daily basis. I have dirt under my nails. My hair is ALWAYS in a pony tail. My bed is harder than a slate of bricks. I don’t know if its morning or night and never know if I’m coming or going. I don’t know what life looks like from one month to the next. What I do know is that the Lord has it in His hands. I know that I will always have a roof(or tent) over my head. I will always have a bed(or sleeping pad) to lay my head on at night. I have clothes to wear(even if I look the same in every picture) I have food to eat every meal. My joy comes from the Lord. He is all I have been in need of all this time. It was just that simple.
Worldly possession will not satisfy you. It only makes you hungry for more. Trust me I’ve been there. “But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”John 4:14 If we learn to allow Him to satisfy our every need we will find ourselves so full and in no need of “things”. He is all we need to live this life He has given us. Everything else is just meaningless.
Your life will not be perfect. You will struggle. You will have doubts. You will fear. You will fall. However He will be there to catch you every time. “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other.” Ecclesiastes 7:14 I ask the Lord daily that we not forget to praise Him even when times become hard. There is always a bigger plan than our eyes could ever see. “No one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
