I spent two days this year not speaking… or more accurately, trying not to speak – a word or two slipped out more than a couple of times.
A. Why I fasted my voice
I desired to increase my casual communication with the Lord. Rather than telling and asking people things, I was forced to tell and ask the Lord things.
I desired to listen to others better. I want to be quick to listen and slow to speak, and when you can’t speak, you become real quick to listen because it’s all you can do in a conversation.
I desired to become a better steward of my voice and words. Sometimes we need to put limitations on ourselves in order to realize the weight, purpose, and extent of our freedoms. Then, we can become better stewards of those freedoms, gifts, and resources the Lord has given to us. By withholding all my words, I became more aware of how many of the words I wanted to say would be necessary and helpful and how many would be negative and a waste of breath.
B. What it was like
I couldn’t ask for help or express my needs.
I couldn’t complain.
I couldn’t thank Sherese for reminding me that I wasn’t supposed to be talking.
I couldn’t ask people how they were doing or what they were up to today, and unless someone else asked, I’d just be left wanting to know.
I couldn’t encourage my group as we picked up trash in the local neighborhood. I love encouraging!
I couldn’t ask questions and learn the things I wanted to know.
I couldn’t tell Clarissa how much I liked her country playlist as we showered.
I couldn’t tell Zack thank you again and again for speaking for me.
I couldn’t thank the lovely lady who gave me hot tea and an alfadora for a snack.
I couldn’t tell Jane how much her words meant to me as she talked to me.
I couldn’t ask the neighborhood kids what their names were, how old they were, and if they wanted to play with us.
I couldn’t sing as I walked around.
I couldn’t ask anyone if they wanted to go for a walk with me, as I was feeling very lonely all day by not having a voice.
I couldn’t give my teammates a hard time when they said stuff for me jokingly that I would never have actually said.
I couldn’t smack talk while playing Dutch Blitz with Omy, Sam, and Mason – that was sadly probably the most I wanted to speak all the day the first time I fasted my voice.
C. What I learned
I often felt invisible. At times I felt like I didn’t matter, like I had nothing to offer. I had to check my identity and ask myself, “What makes me matter?” It’s not my comments or contributions to conversations, singing sessions, or card games, but the Lord and who He has made me to be.
We had church one of the nights, and during worship I was forced to just listen to the words and meditate on them instead of mindlessly reading and singing them. It was extremely frustrating to not be able to shout and sing the cries of my heart to the Lord like everyone else was doing so freely. Not being able to use my voice to worship and praise my God made me want to do it all the more, and made me really appreciate that I can – a freedom I take for granted all too often.
I learned reliance and trust. Sam came with me places in case someone talked to me. I didn’t want to be rude and say nothing, so she spoke for me. I trusted her to speak on my behalf and not say anything that I wouldn’t want said. She read my mind so well! Thanks, Sam!
I discovered a new level of humility. It was humbling to realize that my voice was not necessary for life in community to function or be enjoyed. Sure, perspectives, opinions, and helpful suggestions weren’t shared, but none of them were necessary. It’s so painfully humbling to realize your voice, thoughts, and opinions aren’t at all necessary for life to go on.
Counter to that, many teammates told me repeatedly that they missed me talking, joking, and singing, and that they couldn’t wait for the day to be over. That made me feel valued and like I did have things to contribute – that were being missed because I was intentionally withholding them.
I also learned that my presence is often enough; words aren’t always needed. I didn’t have to say anything to hug someone, sit by him or her, smile at them, or just be with them. I want to continue to get better at discerning when my words are helpful and when they aren’t.
I was shocked by the number of times the words I would have said were complaints or pessimistic comments that would only have produced bad vibes or increased the negativity in the atmosphere. It was very convicting to realize how many words I needed to be more careful to filter and take captive to Christ.
Actions not only speak louder than words, but they are far more important, powerful, and influential. If I couldn’t speak the rest of my life or do anything the rest of my life, I would certainly choose to not speak. We are called to love by our actions, not simply our words. I was encouraged to act more since I couldn’t speak to express things. I want to be a woman of action more than I am of words.
D. What the good ole’ Word of the Lord says about our words
“Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.” – Proverbs 11:12
“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” – Proverbs 13:3
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” – Proverbs 16:24
“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” – Proverbs 18:2
“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” – Proverbs 18:13
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” – Proverbs 18:21
“Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I am only joking.’” – Proverbs 26:18-19
“Let another praise you, and not your own lips.” – Proverbs 27: 2
“Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with the tongue.” – Proverbs 28:23
“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds back.” – Proverbs 29:11
“For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.” – Psalm 34:12-13
What are you using your voice for? What are you using it for that you shouldn’t? And what aren’t you using it for that you should?
We’ve all been given a powerful gift of our voices; steward yours well.
“Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.” – Proverbs 31:8-9
