Month 11 – Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia.
Going into this year, I had no idea what to expect out of Malaysia. Truthfully, I didn’t know much about this country, so my expectations were kind of non-existent in regards to the country, itself.
I did, however, have expectations about ministry and spiritual growth. The one thing I knew for sure about Malaysia is that the country is 90% Muslim. Open evangelism is against the law, and it’s not uncommon for missionaries to go missing here.
Considering the majority of my lessons over the course of this 11 month journey have revolved around my letting go of my need to control things, letting go of my fears, and learning to trust the Lord completely, I was kind of excited that we would be ending with a country that offers so much in pushing the lessons of those areas. Back when we were still in Europe, I started to pray that God would bring me to a point where I would have to fully rely on Him in order to finish this thing strong, and while this is definitely what happened in Malaysia, it looked nothing like what I imagined when I prayed that prayer.
After coming out of such a hard month in Thailand (I’ll probably talk more about that in a separate blog, later), my spirit and emotions were literally exhausted. I had nothing left in the tank and knew that I was going to need the ability to focus on time with Holy Spirit so He could speak truth into me, and through that truth and love I would find my strength in Him. I had reached that place where I had to fully rely on Him and no one else.
The sovereignty of our God, and how He already knows the end from the beginning never ceases to amaze me. He knew exactly what I needed well before I knew it, He knew exactly what “fully relying” on Him was going to look like, and had already orchestrated the means to create what ended up being one of my favorite months, if not my favorite all together.
Our ministry in Malaysia was with a Catholic Children’s Home in the island city of Georgetown, Penang. Georgetown played a huge role in the colonial period as a major port for the East India Trading Company. Beautiful architecture, lots of history, and the best part for me – the ocean.
We lived in the compound of the home, and our job was simply to live life with these kids whose ages ranged from 6yrs to 19yrs. In the mornings they had school at an offsite location, so our mornings were completely free. This was the perfect opportunity for alone time with Jesus in the day time, and ministry in the evening.
Georgetown is a fairly big city with tons of coffee shops, restaurants, malls, etc. I ended up adopting (so-to-speak) a small coffee shop that I walked to nearly every morning, and I befriended the two owners who run the shop by themselves. An open door for relational ministry.
While at the shop in the mornings I also made it a point to spend time in the Word, letting the Holy Spirit bring encouragement and promises that were new every day. Solitude – something I’m not very good at, but reached a place where it was necessary.
Don’t get me wrong, I love people. I love my team. I love my friends. But I’ve realized that solitude is necessary for me. I wasn’t a hermit, though. I spent plenty of time alone with Jesus, but I also spent time with my teammates – one-on-one and in a group.
Lunch was spent back at the children’s home where our team ate together. Afterward, team time was spent in the Word, as well. We did devotional together, and/or talked about what Jesus was teaching us.
Then, the children came back from school. I’ve never felt so connected to any of the children I’ve encountered on the Race. These young ones were amazing! Talented, beautiful, gifted kids. The strangest part was that the little ones were the ones I was more drawn toward. I’ve always been more drawn to teenagers. I let them do my hair and nails. They drew me pictures and asked questions about why we were there, which opened doors for the Gospel to be shared. The guys had bible studies with the men of our team. We rode bikes with them, ate dinner together, had nightly devotions and prayer time – it was seriously just living life with amazing children, and we shared Jesus in the midst of it.
This was love, and relying on His love every morning is what made this one of my favorite months. My job this month was the same job I have for the rest of my days – the greatest commandments: Love God and Love People.
The tattoo I got on this journey seems like a pretty simple message, but trust me it’s not. It’s a reminder about this lesson that I see every day – GO, Do Everything In Love. He has asked us to Go to the nations. To share the good news of the gift of salvation that is freely available to all who accept it. Why does He offer this gift? Love. There’s no other explanation. Love is the basis of all He does, and it’s why He asks us to GO. Our greatest commandments are to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and love our neighbors (all people) as we love ourselves. Jesus also tells his followers this: By this they will know that you are my disciples – that you love one another.
We can’t begin to understand how to love ourselves until we understand how God loves us. And we can’t understand how God loves us until we get to know Him. As I spent more and more time with God this last month, I felt more and more of His love. His love for me. His love for my team and squad. His love for the people at my ministry site. And His love for those outside my walls. This is my job. For the rest of my life, this is who He wants me to be. Someone who loves as He loves.
Truth be told, I’m not very good at it, but I’m learning. It’s one of the wonderful things about relying on Him and His strength. I’m not capable of loving like He does, but when I spend time with Him daily, when I walk with Him and talk with Him, I learn to rely on Him to help me love people. It’s easy when you surround yourself with people who are easy for you to love. But when you’re in the company of people who aren’t easy to love, that’s when I find myself ping that His grace will be there to sustain me and help me be like Jesus. While we were yet sinners He still died for us: This is the love of Christ. Loving those who don’t deserve it, the ones the world deems unlovable. This is the true test.
At the end of our time at the ministry site, most of the team woke up early on the day we left so that we could see the kids off to school. At 6:30-ish in the morning I sat on the front porch (so-to-speak) of our compound waiting for the van to arrive to take them away. One of the kids, Eris, a 7 year old little girl, was laying her head on my lap with tears streaming down her face. No sobs, no wails or tantrums… just a steady stream of tears and an occasional sniffle. She turned and looked up at me after several minutes and gently whispered – “I wish you would stay longer. I wish you would stay for 2 months. I love you.”
Afterward I thought about this moment and it hit me – this is what Jesus says to us. How often to we come into His presence for just a moment, tell Him how much we love and adore Him and how we want to serve Him, and after a 2 hour Sunday service we run right back to our normal routines of ignoring or forgetting His existence. As we walk out the door He looks longingly at us and says, “I wish you would stay. I wish you would stay forever.” And we still turn and walk out forgetting or ignoring everything that just happened.
He’s not a God who’s going to force us to be with Him. That’s not how He works. But He does want us to be with Him. He desires our presence. Why? Because He loves us… even when and though we are difficult to love. Everything He does is in love, and He’s the one I need to run to if I want to learn to do the same. GO. Do Everything In Love.
