One of the many opportunities we have had this month is working with the CRU organization in Bahir Dar. Campus Crusade is something I heard about back home while in college; even though I was not involved during my undergrad, it has been a blessing to serve with them now while traveling abroad. They have graciously opened their office to us, allowed us to camp out in their space, and involved us in many of their outreach and training programs. This past week, we were asked to help train the students on how to give their 3 minute testimonies. It was a familiar and comfortable role to teach a group of students and to share my own testimony; I felt the pat on the back from God that said “this is what I have called you to do” and “see how I have created this passion in you.”
BUT…sometime in between teaching and sharing, God also whispered to me “It’s easy for you to share with strangers, but have you shared this with YOUR people?” Oops. It can be so much more intimidating and scary to share real things with people who know your story from their own perspective or have walked alongside you through that story…so thank you for your grace and understanding as you read this. And here I go…time to share…
My story is very much like the story of the prodigal son. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home where I was raised in the church and taught about Jesus and His sacrifice for us. I asked Jesus into my heart at a young age, I can’t remember if I was 6 or 7, but I remember walking down my Southern Baptist church aisle in my cowgirl skirt to the song “I have decided to follow Jesus.” As I continued to grow up, I remember being in high school and feeling very close to The Lord, like I could hear and feel Him very clearly at times. After some big disappointments in people and how God was working in my life, I chose to gradually walk away from The Lord. Like the story of the prodigal son, I knew what I was doing and I thought I could do a better job of controlling my life that God was. Throughout my later years of high school, college, and even after college…God and I wrestled. I knew He was still there, trying to draw me back in to Him but I still wanted to do things my way. We wrestled back and forth over many things, but a big issue was my relationship with my boyfriend. As I continued to do things my way, regardless of whether or not I felt peace about it, that boyfriend became my husband. Although I was living the life that I had created and had “control” over, it was not Christ-centered…and without realizing it at the time, it was joyless and felt very empty. As the prodigal son, I continued to make more and more choices that created a bigger mess of my life. After being unfaithful, a divorce, and another couple of relationships that were not the best choices, I found myself emotionally lying alone on the floor and with the wind knocked out of me. It was during that time that God gently whispered that He was still there waiting for me. I slowly got back up and starting seeking Him, because somewhere long ago God etched on my heart His truth that “ALL things work together for good, to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” I also knew in my heart the truth that a life apart from The Lord is full of meaningless struggle, and that I would not find real peace until I was back in relationship with Him. Again, like the prodigal son, God welcomed me home with open arms and has since blessed my life with joy and peace beyond anything I could have orchestrated myself. He has perfectly blended my passions and His calling for my life, and continues to love on me like no one else can. Not only did God welcome me back into relationship with Him after I had walked so far away, He was right there behind me waiting for me to turn around. I didn’t have to walk back the 10,000 steps that I walked away…He lovingly followed me the whole time. God didn’t ask me to try to make up for my mistakes either, He has forgiven and forgotten them and loves on me daily. He spoils me with His love and a life filled with purpose. God has taken my relationship with Him deeper than I could have ever imagined, and I know that He isn’t finished working in me yet. He took my mess that I made and He has graciously turned it into a beautiful work of art that is still (thankfully) in progress. My life with Christ now, is in one word…full.
Love y’all.
