In saying yes to the World Race again, I knew that there were going to be some things that I would have to live through again: long travel days, squatty potties, hand washing laundry, living out of a pack. There were aspects of the Race that were less than glamorous. There were things that I could depend on to be hard, but survivable.
I did not expect, however, to show up after our last flight of a 36 hr long travel day and find out that my pack had not made it with me to Serbia. I have traveled on more international flights than I can even remember to count, yet somehow the thought of my bag not showing up at the airport with me never crossed my mind. I never experienced it on my own Race, so I forgot that I was also saying yes to the risks of air travel and luggage.
I actually laughed when I found out that my bag was one of the four on the squad that didn’t show up with our flight. Since Training Camp, God has been telling me this will be a season of dependence and learning to trust him to meet all of my needs. During Launch, I, with great trepidation (knowing the boldness of what I was asking), prayed for the Lord to strip it all away until it’s just him and me. God wasn’t hesitating to show up and have me learn dependence from day one.
With only my daypack, I walked out into the night air of Serbia, unsure of when my bag will come or if it would even make it to the ministry I am at for the first 10 days of the month before I move on to a completely different country to visit another team. Armed with only a clean shirt, 2 clean pairs of underwear, and my important medications I had to depend on the 6 girls I am staying with right now to provide me with everything else I needed. Talk about a humbling step as the squad leader, day one having to depend on your squad to provide you with even the simple necessities like a toothbrush.
In learning to let God meet my needs, the biggest step has been letting God meet my emotional needs. I want to cry, complain, storm the airport to get my bag back. But I also have to learn to not let my emotions be the center of focus for the teams I am staying with. I am learning to let God meet me in my emotions first, that He desires to comfort me, talk through them with me, and allow me to feel all of them the way that I need to. I don’t have to depend on the people around me to meet this need. God is the perfect person to do this with, for he alone knows exactly what I need.
Having to ask Team United for clothes to wear, things to shower with, and a sleeping bag to keep my warm has been so hard. I am independent to my core. I want to meet my needs for myself. But learning to be dependent on God also means learning to be dependent on the community he has provided around me. It means letting God meet my needs in whatever way he chooses.
God has already began the exact work in me that he promised he would during this time. He is faithful to meet his word to me, even if it’s not how I would choose for it to happen. My Father is good and he will never leave me or forsake me.
As I have been writing this, I found out that our bags are supposed to be showing up here in Novi Sad around 1pm. Just another reminder that my Father truly does wish to give me good gifts and provide for me in his perfect way. Praying that they will truly show up here this afternoon.
I am just over half funded for my time as a squad leader. Would you pray about supporting me as I humbly ask God to provide the last $2,710? Click on the donate!button to donate and support me as I support and love on B squad.
