“Sit back down, Kirsten…”
That’s what I feel like God’s audible voice would be telling me right now.
This month has been great; hard but great. What “should have” been a cram packed ministry month was significantly slowed as a result of another one of our teams having to stay with us instead of going to their ministry. Mozambique is currently in a civil war, so it wasn’t safe for them to go up north where the violence is.
Personally, I was thrilled to hear the news– selfishly it was more time for me to spend with them!!
Another plus time from the slower ministry is that it meant I got to spend ample amounts of time sitting with the Lord. This month was a month of refinement.
Refinement: the act of refining. To bring to a fine or a pure state; free from impurities. TO PURIFY FROM WHAT IS COURSE, VULGAR, OR DEBASING; make elegant or cultured.
Month 7, as no surprise to Racers, is usually one of the hardest months on the World Race. You’re usually tired of being tired, tired of being uncomfortable, tired of adapting to new things, and so on.. It’s just physically, emotionally, and spiritually taxing.
I knew that coming in. Last month I had tried to prepare myself for that. And honestly, I thought I had done a good job. But that’s the thing–sometimes when you try to plan ahead, God says ‘Hang on there, Skippy…’
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” -Proverbs 16:9
I think this verse has been on my social media bio for 6 years… It was supposed to be my anthem, my theme, my slogan. But honestly, it became more of one of those signs you hang on your door knobs at hotels… You know.. The ones that no one pays attention to. The ones that say, “Do not Disturb”, yet room service still manages to knock on your door at 7:30 a.m. while you’re sleeping. (Okay, rant over… I’m not bitter–well, maybe a little)
When planning ahead last month for this month, I think I miscalculated. Instead of letting this month run its course, I was trying to skip over some seriously HUGE things that the Lord had planned for this month. I was hanging that “Do Not Disturb” sign on my heart.
That’s the thing though–
God loves us too much us to let us coast by all of the things He has for us.
What He wanted was for me to TRUST the process, to trust what He had planned for this season instead of what I had planned. I’m currently reading a Brennan Manning book called Ruthless Trust and this quote is GOLD:
“The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.”
Mmmm, that last part is so good. When we release control is when we truly step into trust and what the Lord has planned for us! But he wants every piece of us, because He has far more planned than we could ever imagine or come up with by ourselves.
This is far more than just your physical location, but has more to do with your heart condition. Are you willing to truly set aside every bit of control and let Jesus run His course instead of yours? Clearly I’m still learning all about it!!
You won’t relent until you have it all
My heart is yours
Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until you and I are one
**lyrics from “You Won’t Relent”, Jesus Culture
