The past month has been nothing short of a whirlwind. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced a season in life when you can do nothing but stand in awe of Jesus. I’m there. I am in awe of his goodness, his perfect timing, and his constant invitation to trust and abide in him.
Since my return from the race I have had this “plan” to work and get my student loans paid off. I don’t have an absurd amount of debt but it’s enough to make me cry… just a little 😉 This plan has not been working so well though. You see I’ve been off the race since November and I have only worked about two months consecutively.
The Lord has pulled me away for different ministry purposes where I went willingly because He asked me to. I lived at a homeless shelter in Asheville, North Carolina, sharing the gospel and fellowshipping with them while also gaining an understanding of how they live. I spent three weeks in Texas partnering with Revive Texas praying, encouraging, and sharing the gospel with the people of Dallas.
He has exposed me to some incredible miracles, healings, and situations. I have been in awe of his ways and the mere fact I am allowed to be a part of what he’s doing.
Upon my return from Texas I was eager to stay put, so I vowed to stay home. I planned to work until my loans were entirely paid off so I was better able to be used by the Lord with no debt. Well this is not what the Lord had planned! I have found that He constantly calls me out of comfort and into trust.
About two weeks ago I was offered a role with The World Race to go back out onto the field as an Alumni Squad Leader. I have wanted to do this and have been praying about it for a year! However, I wanted to do it on my terms. I wanted to be in a “good place” financially (whatever that means).
The kicker about being offered this role was that the departure date was five weeks away. I said no right away. I said, “It’s too soon, I can’t pay off my student loans by then.”
Well that was a Monday. As only the Lord can do, the convictions started coming. He was asking me if I truly trusted him. He was asking me if I was going to take this opportunity to step out in faith, knowing that he will provide above and beyond my expectations just as He has time and time again. He challenged me to practice what I so often preach. He assured me that He would not be upset with me if I chose not to go but I would be in disobedience by not going.
God is constantly proving what a good, good father he truly is. He provides abundantly and yet it is so easy to doubt that he will. The creator of the heavens and the earth has given me an opportunity, yet again to go and make his beautiful name heard across the nations. Yet, I want to say no so that I can be comfortable and not trust that he can and WILL take care of me in every way financially and more? I don’t think so. I was humbled.
So I went from a “no way” on Monday to having a video interview on Wednesday and being asked to join right away! Y’all I didn’t even make it to my squad’s training camp, that’s how fast this is all happening!
So aside from the fact that this is all crazy fast, I am BEYOND EXCITED! I want to share a little bit of my heart with you on why I am so passionate about this role and what the Lord has affirmed me in.
Since I have been home I have tried to operate from a place of total dependence and in obedience of Jesus. I have given my “yes” and followed him into uncharted territories even when it was daunting and intimidating. But because I have obeyed, He has revealed himself to me in insane ways!
I know that the woman I was before the race would not have chosen to do this. The woman I was before cared so deeply what other people thought of her due to past hurts. She operated out of a lot of hurt because of being bullied in school. She constantly sought to people please and be affirmed by others. She was seeking her identity from sources that were trivial and fleeting. I am no longer that woman.
During my journey on the World Race I learned what it means to truly surrender to Jesus and the freedom that comes from dealing with “past baggage.” Through many prayers, conversations, processing sessions, and a lot of feedback I can honestly say that my identity is rooted in Jesus. This world is temporary and the idols we chase after, the stuff we fill our time with, it will all fade away eventually. The one thing that will remain is who we are in Jesus.
Now please don’t mistake this as me saying past thoughts don’t creep into my mind because of course they do, I’m human. However, the difference now is that I stake my claim. I proclaim the authority I have in Jesus and who he says I am versus who the world tells me I need to be. The thing about this life is that we are constantly being refined. I like to think we are all a work in progress. Every day that passes I hope to look more like Jesus when I put my head on my pillow at night.
SO, WHY DO I WANT TO GO BACK OUT ON THE FIELD AS A SQUAD LEADER?
I believe our generation has influence like no other. I believe that the Lord is rising up warriors to glorify him through us. This ministry is a platform that exposes a depth of intimacy, boldness and relentless pursuit with Jesus and His Kingdom. It causes you to step beyond the safe zone and comfortability, to embrace the fear of the unknown and hold the Word of God as the sole truth that it is. We are his people. He loves us beyond comprehensible measure and the lengths, heights, and depths he is willing to go to pursue us are vast. In knowing how much my life has transformed this past year, I consider it a pure honor to walk alongside other people my age as they pursue Jesus with reckless abandon.
P.S. If you desire to financially support this journey, this is the site to do so! There is a donate link at the top right corner 🙂 THANK YOU <3
