We began packing up our bags Wednesday evening in preparation to leave on Thursday. As Wednesday approached I knew that we were leaving soon but it didn’t really hit me until we packed our bags into the bus, our ministry hosts said their last goodbyes, and we drove off on our way to our first debrief in Belgrade. This was a bitter sweet moment; bitter that our time in Sombor was ending, but sweet as we look forward to all that God has in store for us in Romania.
I am currently sitting in a quaint, low key, mom and pop coffee shop (that has WiFi) here in Belgrade on our last full day of debrief. We have spent 5 days together as a squad. Our squad mentor and coaches flew in from the states to take this time to help us process what has just happened, what we have learned, and to launch us into the next few months until our next debrief.
It is difficult to capture into words all the stories that were told, all the lives that were shared, the food that was eaten, the games we got to play together, and the many blessings we got to receive. We played countless games of ping pong, scraped the siding of windows for hours upon hours, danced like we had no cares, drank more coffee that we deserve, and I received a new character trait to my identity…The one who breaks things! I did have a strange habit of breaking things that month, including but not limited to: burning the oven (I know, kinda strange but I somehow managed to do this), breaking tables, crushing ping pong balls, overloading circuit breakers, and I am sure I’m forgetting the others 🙂
Despite my many blunders this first month I have also learned many things. I have learned of my desperate need to trust Him in the many areas that I cannot control. I love my team, and I am learning to love their weaknesses as well as their strengths. To love only their good side and not their ugly side, would be an incomplete kind love. It would be picking and choosing. This would be conditional. Not the kind of love that our Father has shown us through Christ. And so I desire to choose to love my team exactly for who they are, not for who I want them to be.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
-1 John 4:7-8
How can I say that I love God while at the same time choose not to love His people?
This doesn’t usually happen intentionally; as a matter of fact, it happens naturally. I wouldn’t be quick to say this out loud, but if you were to watch my actions it is very clear when I am not choosing to love one another. This happens when I am not being purposeful. This happens when I get up in the morning and the first person I think about is me rather than my team. This happens when I start thinking what I want to do, rather than what would be beneficial for the team. How do I respond when: I am worn out? Tired? Frustrated? Offended? Sad? Expectations go unmet?
In order for me to grow closer to my Father and to give Him the glory He deserves, I NEED my brothers and sisters.
Each member of my team is uniquely created and gifted for the purpose of supporting the body of Christ. They have a perspective that I don’t have. They see things that I don’t see. They even see me in ways I can’t see, and this is one of the things I deeply want to press into.
I NEED my team. This is no longer an option for my growth to occur, it is a requirement. I will not grow without them. I may be able to grow in personal intimacy with my Father but it would be a mismatched, uneven balance without my community. They go hand in hand. As I grow with my team, I will grow with my Father and vice versa (if I am truly doing what He says and not picking and choosing what I want to do). I need them to notice my shortfalls and point them out to me. I need them to show me where I am weak, where I am not living to the full potential as a man of God, where I miss the mark. I need them to remind me of where I am in relation to where God is so I can readjust. I don’t easily see these things because they are in my blind-spot.
“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus”
-Philippians 2:1-5
Will I choose to think of others more significant than myself? Not only when I am feeling strong…but also when I am feeling weak?
God has a habit of revealing the desires of our hearts through many different kinds of circumstances. Especially when those desires don’t match up with His. This is a GOOD thing! Because He is gently showing us our true selves. And when we see that for what it really is, it is ugly.
I was reminded during one of our debrief teachings that our enemy desperately tries to keep us from knowing three things:
- Who God is
- Who he is
- Who we are
When we see each of these for what they truly are, their real identity, we can’t help but be drawn into the very presence of God. God is good, Satan is bad, and we are sons and daughters of God, Co-heirs with Jesus Christ! Don’t let the enemy cloud, confuse, or distort the identity of these three things.
This was one of the first days in Sombor meeting with our ministry hosts. We were having breakfast right on the canal. From Left to right: Zoltan and Tatjana Vegel (Pastor and wife/Ministry hosts), Jason, Doug, Abbigail, Maça (Church leader), Alexis, Claire, Me, Jenna.
