When standing in front of a group of people, I have a whole slew of responses. My voice becomes shaky. I get hot (and oh so sweaty). I lose my train of thought, very easily and frequently. Sometimes it gets so bad that I get tunnel vision and dizzy. Fear of public speaking is an understatement.
The last year, and continuing on following the Race, I’ve been asked to engage in several public speaking engagements (another one just today). What I’m finding is that when I force myself to push through and go ahead with it regardless of how the adrenaline is forcing my body to respond, I am usually grateful I did.
These are physical responses, not heart responses. I want to share what’s on my heart, but for too long I’ve allowed the physical responses to prevent me from doing so.
“I can’t do that; I’m just not a public speaker.”
“I can’t do that; people can’t understand my shaky words.”
“I can’t do that; I have nothing of value to say.”
“I can’t do that; I’d look like a fool.”
“I can’t do that; I may faint, literally.”
In recognizing how my heart response differs from my physical response, I begin to wonder “what if there’s a reason for the significant obstacles I must jump through to speak in front of people?”
What if I do have something of value to say & the enemy is fighting to hold me back? Has God entrusted me with something to say, that will go unsaid if I am unwilling to do so?
Who am I to decide who can be used the Lord? Just as He said to Moses, “Go; I will help you speak & I will teach you what to say,” I know He can work through me. (Exodus 4:10-17)
What’s the worst that can happen if I did faint? Isn’t it worth chancing it to be following God’s will? Look at all of the trials that Jesus’ disciples faced, and yet they continued to follow Him.
Lastly, what’s so wrong with looking like a fool? I’m far from perfect, and trying to make it seem as though I am by covering up my flaws is getting me no where.
I’d rather make progress and risk looking foolish, than stay put where I am comfortable, and risk getting stuck.
Who would have thought God could use someone like me?
