I arrived in Accra, Ghana, nervous to lead my first ever Squad Debrief as a World Race Squad Mentor. After many weeks of prayer and preparation and numerous calls with my field leadership team, we finally had a 4 day long debrief schedule planned and ready to go! I came prepared with my accordion folder full of my talk notes, activity sheets, schedules, one-on-one sign up sheets and a bag full of Valentine’s Day candy for the squad.
I had a day to rest and adjust to the time difference, but as soon as I woke up that morning, I could feel my health rapidly deteriorating: a sore throat and chills, and I realized quickly that the week ahead was on the verge of turning into a very big challenge.
That night as I was in my bed, praying for the start of debrief and finalizing my talking points for my first all-squad session, I could feel my body temperature rising to a feverish level.
The first thing I thought was, “Well there’s no way it’s malaria!” That wouldn’t present itself for at least 2 weeks!
It’s clearly a cold that most likely originated to exposure stateside. Thanks mom and dad! 🙂
The next morning I was completely exhausted, having had two fevers break during the night.
“Ok Lord, how is this going to work? I’m running this debrief, I don’t think taking a sick day is an option.”
I heard Him respond, “I’m taking you deeper into dependence on me. I am your strength, trust in me.”
“Ok Lord, I will trust in you,” I promised as I contemplated my packed days ahead: team debriefs, leadership meetings, one on ones, sessions, worship nights, meals with each of my alumni squad leaders, my coaches, and story leader.
As our first session approached that first evening, I was getting so nervous and frustrated with my voice. It was starting to significantly diminish and as I was going over my talk with my squad leader, Cristen, I was sharing about how I was feeling and that I could only speak in a mild and raspy tone. Cristen pointed out that the material I was covering during that talk was a very direct and challenging message for the squad, about the realities of our mission and ministry, the expectations we have and the cultural biases we carry.
“Maybe the Lord intends for this message tonight to be delivered in a softer tone. Maybe that’s what the squad needs in order to receive it,” she said.
She was right. The squad received the message so well and I began believing this was just what the Lord intended.
By the next morning, my voice was gone.
But then the most incredible thing happened. Just before our evening session started on night 2, my squad leader, Michelle, prayed over my voice… and it started to come back.
I still couldn’t sing, but as I was standing on that roof top, mouthing the words and raising my hands in worship to the Lord, I heard Him ask me “Do you believe I can heal you?”
Y’all, healing is a big area of growth between me and the Lord.
I have one bad knee and one worse knee and I’ve been wrestling with the idea of healing for years. I’ve prayed over people and seen them healed; people on their deathbed be fully healed and walking around by the next day, deaf regain hearing, and someone with bad cataracts that left them blind start to make out objects and track people.
Our God is a healer! And I believe that He loves us and desires each of us to be whole.
But I have also had friends and family members pass away from cancer and I’ve been prayed over countless times to have my knees healed, with no changes.
I struggle often to understand God’s methods and timing, but I’ve learned to keep asking and keep believing.
This night was no different.
“Do you believe I can heal you?”
“Yes, Lord I do.”
“Ask your squad to pray over you.”
That was bold. The Lord just challenged me on only my second night in front of them, as their leader, to admit weakness and my struggles with unbelief and humbly ask for prayer.
But then something beautiful happened.
Invitation.
You know that saying “The Lord will never give you more than you can handle?”
It’s a lie.
The Lord often gives us more than we can handle. He does it so that we might realize our own human limitations and come to a place of full dependence on the Him for strength.
That night, I had come to the end of myself and my own strength, and in that moment I grew deeper in my dependence on the Lord.
And I was able to invite not only the Lord into my situation, but my whole squad.
In that moment of invitation, we all got to watch and witness as 4 racers immediately jumped out of their seats to come around me and lay hands on me. We all got to experience as the rest of the squad also bowed their heads and extended their hands in my direction and we all began to pray “World Race Style” – which simply means all at once.
“…In Jesus’ mighty and powerful name. Amen”
As the room fell silent again and the few around me took their seats, all eyes went wide as I opened my mouth and began to speak with fullness and clarity that just minutes before seemed impossible.
I was healed.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
I’m currently building my support team that will commit to coming alongside me as I continue to work where God has called me. Would you prayerfully consider partnering with me and what Adventures in Missions is doing all over the world?
