I’m not sure how many of you know this about me, but I can be a bit of a planner and a control freak. 🙂 I know these personality traits equip me well for my role as a logistics leader, but sometimes they have caused a lot of unnecessary stress and struggle.
God has really been working on me in the area of surrender.
I’ve learned (through team feedback) that in moments of high stress, I lose my spirit of gentleness. I can become so focused on what’s happening to me that is out of my control, that it actually steals my natural tendency to be gentle towards others. I can become short and impatient and blinded to the needs of others.
I’ve been praying for God to show me opportunities to “flip the script” in those situations and still love my teammates and squad-mates well, in those moments of high stress… like say… travel days and border crossings. 🙂
Personally, I’ve had several situations happen at home which were beyond my control this past month and have forced me to look at my desire for control and ultimately surrender them to God.
For example, my furniture needed to be moved from my old apartment and there was nothing I could do of my own strength to make it happen.
I couldn’t fly home and lift it out of there myself. I had to fully surrender and rely on others.
As I prayed about it and wrestled with God about the lack of control I had over this situation, I realized that I can’t think of a single situation in my past where I had asked for help, but couldn’t at least help myself in some part.
“Can you help me lift this?” is much different than “Can you lift this for me?”
But in midst of my struggle for control, God showed me that it is ok (and sometimes necessary) to ask for help.
In the process of surrendering this to Him, God also reminded me that He has blessed me with amazing friends and family back home that would not only be willing to love and pray for me while I’m away, but support me and serve me as well.
I surrender all to you God! And I’m humbled by the ways in which you’ve showed me love and mercy.
I’ve lost control. And that’s OK! 🙂
To all of my friends and family back home: Thank you so much for your love and encouragement and support.
I love you!
Alissa 🙂
**Financial Update – If you’d still like to support me financially on this journey, you still can! My last fundraising deadline is coming up at the end of April and I need about $3,268 to be fully funded.**
