Sitting Here I realized that not everyone who will be reading my blog knows me. Some have heard my testimony, but many don’t know it. I want to share with you how I was saved by grace.
When I was between the ages of six and seven my biological mom left me with her boyfriend to be with another man. Being that little I wasn’t totally sure what was going on. All I knew is that she loved me and told me to never forget that. That was the last time I saw her for while. It wasn’t long till Chris (my mom’s now ex boyfriend) found a new woman. Ruth immediately moved in with her daughter Dianna. While she was living with us, she would abuse her daughter right in front of me. I thank God that she never laid a hand on me. But there was a lot of tension between her and I. She hated me and I hated her. Ruth demanded Chris to make me move out. He agreed and I was sent to live with my Aunt and Uncle in Tennessee. I was so confused at what was going on. I hadn’t seen my mom and now Chris was giving me up too. I didn’t live long with my relatives in Tennessee. I was then sent back to Florida to live with my Great Grandma and my brother Solomon. My mom would randomly appear here and there until one day I never saw her again at a young age. Life with my Grandma was easy. I could do whatever I wanted. I would sneak out late at night with my brother and steal her money to buy soda and snacks at the Chuluota Grocery. Yes… I did that between the ages of seven and eight. One day a man visited the home that would take my brother out to church. My Grandma privately talked to him about finding a home for me. All she had ever wanted was the best for her little girl. Time went by and I met many different families that said they would adopt me but at last minute decided not to. I was crushed and felt a lot of rejection. After many months of searching, that kind man found a family for me! It was set up for me to meet them at the Church I now attend. Somehow plans didn’t work out that night and we all thought we were not going to have to opportunity to meet. God knew what he was doing because the Finlay family and I were at publix at the same time! I was able to meet them! It felt like everything came so fast. Next thing I knew I was moving in with a family I knew nothing about. That was a HUGE change in my life. I went from being parentless to have both a mom and a dad! I also had five new sisters! Lets just say life was hard adjusting to that especially with my new mom because I had a mom and didn’t want anyone else to take her place. I also had a hard time with obedience and was such a little brat! After a year of living with them I decided that I wanted to accept Christ in my heart. I did it only because I wanted to be just like my new family and didn’t want to go to hell. I played the role of being a Christian for a very long time. I spent so much time trying to hid that I was hurting. I went through the motions.
Middle school was fun. I went on my first mission trip then. It was to Brazil! I started to believe that I loved God. Then eight grade hit. I wanted to be on the eight grade leadership team at Church. I was asked several questions that had to do with my faith. I realized that I didn’t accept Christ into my heart for the right reasons. It had to be about me wanting a personal relationship with Him. I decided to take that step and let Him into my life. I went through the rest of middle school living that out and going on mission trips.
Then my junior year of high school hit. That is when my world changed. My Great Grandmother passed away. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I became angry at God for taking her away from me. I was so angry that I barley cried when I found out the news. I was also seeing a counselor at that time so stuff from the past was coming up. I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. Inside I was boiling. I also did not have people who were the best influences in my life. That was also the first time in eleven years that I had seen my biological mom. Lets say that I had so many emotions going on. She had apologized to me at the funeral for doing what she did but it still hurt. It was something that would never leave my mind. I started becoming less involved in Church and when I went I hated every moment of it. I kept asking God “Why” I fell into a depression. I became very angry and distant from the world. Even towards my family and those close to me. I pushed them all away. It wasn’t bad though. It became worse my senior year of High school. I was around a lot of bad influence in my life. My brother who meant the world to me had stopped talking to me. I became so depressed and angry that I wanted to end my life. I thought to myself “Why would anyone care about me. No one needs me. I hate my life. I would be better of dead.” Every time I was home alone I would contemplate how I was going to kill myself. Every time I was about to do something that could harm me I would get called by someone or someone would walk in on me. I was angry and sad that my parents finally asked me what was going on. I decided to tell them. I then went to see my counselor about that. She helped me find ways to calm down but the pain was still there. I was so tired of being at home that for college I decided to go to the Word of Life Bible Institute. It was my way of running away from my problems. I started putting on the mask that everything was okay and that I was fully trusting in God again. I was accepted and very happy to be gone. It would be a new place and new people. I started to learn about the bible in depth but the pain was still there. It wasn’t until the summer that I started to realize how much God loved me. I worked at a summer camp and interacted with many different kinds of kids who were hurting. Then I realized that my life was worth living. I started praying to God till finally half way through the summer the pain I was feeling for so long went away. I realized that my life was worth living. Through His grace I was saved. I fully found joy in him even through the trails and times I started hurting. That was one of the best summers of my life. I came home on fire for Jesus! Then all of the sudden I started getting busy. I started going to church less and less. I started to distance myself from people and forgot about God’s grace. When I was at church I would sit there and think what is the point of going. Ive heard this stuff a million times. Whats going to be different? Finally one day I broke. My mom had even pointed out how different I had became. I realized she was right and decided to start pursuing God again. Ever since then I have been living my life for Him. I am now following His calling in my life to love on the broken through the world race. I am very excited to have this opportunity! It is a blessing to be able to love on people and show them that even though life is tough you can get through it with God’s love.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
-Victoria Finlay
I am asking for you to partner with me by contributing to the trips cost of $16,361.00. That will cover the cost of all of my expenses while I travel. You can contribute by giving a one-time gift or a monthly donation. You can donate online by going on my blog and going to “Support Me!” You can also send checks. Please make checks payable to Adventures In Missions and mail it to P.O. Box 742570, Atlanta GA 30374-2570. Please put FINLAYVICTORIA in the memo so that your donation is processed properly. Adventures In Missions is a tax-exempt organization under IRS code 501(c)(3) and is a member of the ECFA. (Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability). Due to IRS and ECFA regulations governing the administration of tax deductible donations given in support of a particular trip/program, support contributions given on behalf of an individual will be used to offset the costs of the trip/program you are involved in. All contributions are non-refundable regardless of the participant’s success in completing the program.
