I sat in silence with my eyes closed and I asked God to speak to me. To give me an image. I prayed to be at peace and listen so I could hear clearly.
Then a blurred image seemed to peer into focus.
I saw Satan pacing back and forth. He was laughing as he gripped my wrists to lock the shackles in place. He tightened the cuffs and secured them. I stood defeated, with my head hung down in shame.
Then a glimmering light appeared, Jesus came into view to unlock the shackles. Just as quickly as he took them off of me I put them right back on.
The shackles were normal to me. They were comfortable. I had been in bondage so long it was the only thing I’d ever known. Satan continued laughing while pacing around me encouraging me that I was doing the right thing.
Through out the years and prior to my race, my prayers were repetitious. Over and over I would pray God I don’t want to be in bondage anymore. You said you would set the captives free! Take these chains God! Please!
Whatever IT is standing in the way- please take IT from me. I want to experience freedom! I want to walk in the fullness of who I am! Give me freedom!
For so long I gauged what freedom was, based on other people’s freedom. I would see them walking in what looked like freedom and I wanted what they had. I Desired the way they laughed, smiled, and lived day to day. But because I wasn’t like them- I assumed I wasn’t walking in full freedom.
The other night during a worship session I felt like my eyes had been opened for the first time. I stood swaying with my eyes closed singing praises to our God and suddenly i heard clear as day.
IT IS FINISHED.
Jesus’s words echoed in my brain. The day he was crucified he uttered these words.
It is finished means it is over. He finished it today, yesterday, last month, over 2,000 years ago when he was nailed to a Cross.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I started to weep.
The IT WAS ME.
I was the IT I kept praying to be removed.
Flash back to my vision.
Satan put the chains on yes. But I kept them on!
Jesus is always there to remove them, but I kept choosing to put them back on. I was the one keeping myself in bondage for so long. I was the one “choosing” to not walk in the freedom I had already been given.
I continued worshiping while I replayed those words.
The it was me.
THE IT WAS ME.
For so long I was weighed down in chains placed by the enemy and I blamed God, others, and my circumstances.
But the IT was always me because it was my choice.
I love that Jesus is so gentle and not forceful. He doesn’t want us to do anything we don’t want to do. So he lets us choose.
For years I chose chains.
But now. The chains are broken. I have been set free. I am no longer a Slave to fear. A slave to my whims. A slave to my past. A slave to my chains or the enemy that taunts me.
I am a child of God. The papers are signed. They’ve been signed. I was. Am. And always will be a daughter. An adopted daughter into his heavenly family.
You can can choose to be a victim, slave, or an orphan. But you can just as easily choose to know whose you are.
I write you this to encourage you- you can be free too. You just have to take off the shackles. When you wake up each morning. Choose to believe your loved. Choose joy. Choose forgiveness. Choose FREEDOM! And when the enemy creeps back in holding those shackles, stand firm and remember what you’ve chosen and what’s already been done for you. Don’t keep putting out your wrists. It is finished!
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders- and there’s no turning back.
My freedom isn’t your freedom. It isn’t hers or his. It’s my own and it looks different for me. But it’s my choice.
When you can choose to walk in freedom- you give those around you permission to walk in their own freedom.
The it was me- but it doesn’t have to be you too. Choose freedom! Break those chains! Be set free!
