In lieu of it being Easter Sunday we decided to watch passion of the Christ. For most of which I was mad! I was mad at Judas for betraying Jesus. I was mad at the Jews for handing him over, and the Roman soldiers for beating him like an animal. I was also mad at myself.
To think that I did that to Him. That he suffered on my account. It made me enraged. I have heard the gospel. I’ve seen this movie many times before, but I guess it never sank in that he endured so much just so that I could live. To see him being beaten, spit on, mocked, and dehumanized…saying I was angry would be an understatement. Others were watching with sadness, some even cried. But I sat fuming.
But I couldn’t be mad at them…That is what fulfilled the scriptures. He HAD to die. That was a part of Gods’ master plan. But on my MY account??? Man, that hurt.
In Luke 24 it reads “Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?”
Every year I watch this movie. Every year I weep as I sit in my self pity apologizing. I repeat over and over to God “I am so sorry.” Over and Over. YET, I KEEP on sinning. I KEEP on doubting. I KEEP on questioning. I KEEP on being disobedient. I don’t ACT like I’m mad or sorry. He died for me, yet I STILL have trouble living for him.
As I watched him struggle to carry the Cross he would soon be crucified on, I had a flashback to last summer…
It was July and my co-counselor and I were heading home from camp. We had swung in the drive-thru and were singing, talking, and reminiscing about the fun week we’d had. We were on a long strip of highway when we saw him. We passed a man walking along the road carrying at least a 7 foot cross. Filled with curiosity and amazement I exclaimed to her… ” did you see that!” She said, ” yes!” “Do you wanna stop and talk to him?” I responded…”Sure do!” So I whipped my car around and slowly approached him.
He was drenched with sweat. He was singing worship to the Lord. He was carrying his cross for Jesus. He knew carrying A cross on the side of a busy highway would make people curious, make them wonder why? And like us, MAYBE even stop and ask.
In that moment the night before Easter watching Jesus and Simon of Cyrene carry the cross that I should of bore…I thought WHAT IF Jesus had asked ME to help him carry that Cross? The one HE would be crucified on? For ME? Would I? WHAT IF Jesus asked ME to carry a 7 foot cross along side a busy highway in 95 degree weather for hours each day? WOULD I?
I remember thinking when I met that young man. What obedience. What courage. I could never do that.
But WHY couldn’t I?
It WASN’T because of my lack of strength, we all know that. 🙂
But that seemed like the only EXCUSE I could come up with.
If you’re like me, and you’re human… Most of our first reactions would not be, Heck yes! I can’t wait to do that today!! We would almost rather do anything but that…We would ask…
What would people think? What would people say?
These are two common questions that deter us from being obedient when the spirit prompts us. We first justify our actions, then convince ourselves of the validity of our actions…THEN we’re disobedient.
The WHAT IFS plague our minds, and we talk ourselves in circles until we just walk away.
Imagine IF instead of saying what if people stare? Or what will people think? We changed our reaction to…
MAN! What IF people stared??!! What WOULD people think??!!
How cool would that be!!!???
How many heads would turn?! How many people would feel so compelled by curiosity they went home and dusted off that old bible? How many people would google search “carry your cross” and find tons of scripture that read “carry your cross daily. How many people would sit down to dinner at night and say Guess what I saw today?! ” HOW MANY people would STOP and ask questions?
Could you imagine?
Could you imagine if we lived out scripture? Could you imagine a Church body that lived like they believed in the resurrection? Could you imagine Christians that lived like they were in a relationship, and didn’t act like they were a part of a religious group? Could you imagine the masses of people that would come to know Jesus because they saw the evidence in our lives?
The gentleman I met, LIVED out “Die to self.” “I am no longer ashamed of the gospel.” And ” Take up your cross daily.”
The rest of our trip home that day was pretty silent. I couldn’t stop thinking about that young man. I pondered, could people see Christ evident in MY life, the way I could see Christ evident in HIS life?
When we stopped to ask him WHY? He passionately shared the gospel with us as if it were the first time we’d ever heard it. I didn’t have the heart to tell him we were Christians…We prayed for each other, hugged him, thanked him and we parted ways.
Even now I think to myself…Christian? What kind of Christian am I…That if Jesus asked me to pick up a literal Cross, I’d say NO?
Out of fear of what people would think?
I’m no better than Peter who denied him 3 times.
I pray that we would be Christians who don’t want a title, but an intimate relationship with the father. That we would be a CHURCH BODY not a building. That we would no longer be ashamed of the gospel, or the cross we bear. But would bear our Cross daily. With pride that we GET to bear the name of Jesus. That we would humbly and fully accept any and every opportunity to share the Gospel with ANYONE hoping…What WOULD people think??!! What IF they stared??!! Praise God WHAT IF!!!!
