“You’re doing what some people dream of their whole lives. You have the world at your fingertips, literally. What an incredible adventure you’re on. I wish I could do something like that!”
These are typical responses I hear from people when I tell them about what I’m doing on the World Race. People usually dream up this idea we’re on this fancy vacation for 11 months, touring through different countries. They think we raised money to take a free trip to sight see and eat food in beautiful places. YES we get to see beautiful places, and meet beautiful people. We get to see and do things most people wont in a lifetime.BUT what people don’t typically see is the heartache, or the sacrifice. The World Race is a huge sacrifice.
When I first felt the calling to go on the Race I ran in the other direction. But the voice got louder, the feelings go stronger. I justified why I should stay, and talked myself in circles trying to find a way out. But I KNEW the Lord was calling me. So, I started making BIG decisions. I gave up my home, sold almost ALL my belongings, quit the job that I loved, and gave up my position as a youth intern at my Church. I said goodbye to my friends and family. I let go of every shred of normalcy I’ve ever known. Coming on the Race was the hardest decision I’ve made in my life.
I knew leaving would be hard, but I didn’t know it would be THIS hard. People see the photos. They see the fun things we do and the excursions we take. THOSE are from our days off. Our adventure days. What people DON’T see is the work, sweat, and tears that are poured in. To each other and the people of these countries.
People don’t see the things we give up, the things we miss out on…
They don’t see…the man in tattered urine covered clothes sleeping on the street corner. They don’t see the blind woman singing under a pavilion trying to earn money. They don’t see the children 4-8 years of age tugging on your shirttail begging you for just a dollar. They don’t see the hundreds of povershed villages we visit that are full of hopelessness. They don’t notice the men, women, even children who pick up trash on the street to cash it in for spare change. They don’t see the looks. The tears. The people of this world left alone, abandoned, and afraid. They don’t see the traffic victims being sold for sex. They don’t know what it’s like to see people finding their meals in garbage bins. They don’t know what its like to be completely surrounded by people yet feel so alone. People don’t see when me and my teammates have arguments and spend hours and tears sorting it out. People don’t see the sickness from parasites that keeps us up at all hours of the night. They don’t see me cry my self to sleep sometimes because I’m so homesick. They don’t know how it feels to watch life happening across the world and feel forgotten.
This stuff isn’t captured on camera. But the images are forever etched in my memory. This is the kind of stuff we go through. This is the kind of stuff I signed up for. I knew it would be hard. I knew there would be times of loneliness and sadness. I knew my heart would break. That comes with sacrifice sometimes.
Jesus made it very clear that the path to following him involved sacrifice. He tells us to take up our cross and follow him daily. “And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:38)
When you think of the word sacrifice you may think of Abraham, who sacrificed his only son on an alter, you may think of the men and women who sacrifice their lives and faithfully serve our country, you may think of a mother sacrificing a meal for her child, or you may consider me leaving for a year a huge sacrifice. When I think of the word “sacrifice” I think of a man on a cross. I think of a loving father who gave up his ONLY son to die for the sins of the world.
Those of us who live in America truly know little about what TRUE sacrifice is. We think fasting for a day, spending an hour in prayer, or withholding something from our self is sacrifice. Yet when we remember the thousands of Christian men and women around the world being persecuted and even killed for their faith OUR “sacrifice” seems insignificant.
I’ve learned on the Race although sacrifice is crucial to every Christians journey, what Jesus desires most is obedience. He doesn’t need our sacrifice. He need us to be obedient, so he can work in and through us. It took sheer obedience to come on the Race. This was not what I had in mind for my life. Although this has been the opportunity of a lifetime I have missed many events and mile stones back home.
I found out recently one of my best friends is getting married, due to circumstances out of our control the wedding is scheduled before I return home. I was devastated when I found out I would not be able to attend. All I could do was weep. My heart broke thinking of the memories I would miss, the photos I wouldn’t be in, and the celebration I would not be apart of. I immediately blamed God for bringing me here. If I was not HERE then I would be THERE but IF I was THERE then I’d miss the blessings HERE. My heart was torn between mourning what I’m missing out on back home, and being excited for things in my life that are HERE. I have friends that recently had babies, others that are expecting. I won’t be apart of baby showers, I won’t get to make hospital visits, make meals to help out, or hold the babies when they are born. I won’t be apart of photos or memories taking place back home this year. My close friends and families have suffered deaths, heartbreak, and tragedies, for all of which I was not able to comfort them, hug them, or walk through that season of life with them. I’ve misses holidays, birthdays, ballgames, recitals, awards assemblies, soon to be graduations, and many other life changing events. All because I CHOSE obedience.
Everything costs something. The costs seem extreme sometimes because we miss out on important things. BUT the benefits far out way the costs. On the Race we get to see places people will never see, and meet people we never knew existed. We get to feed the hungry, hug the widows, and tickle the orphans. We get to bring hope to places where hope is not felt, and we get to share the name of Jesus where his name is unheard. The benefits far out way the cost of sacrifice. But the truth of the matter is the CLOSER we follow Jesus the more we will have to sacrifice. Every part of the Christian life entails sacrifice. More of Him> Less of Me
So to me it is empathetically no sacrifice, it’s a privilege to be on this journey. Jesus didn’t ask for half hearted commitment, he asked me for complete and total surrender and obedience. And that came at a cost.
I don’t share these things with you to make you feel pity on me. But I do invite you to my reality. The Race is hard. It’s hot. It’s challenging. It’s exhausting. It’s nothing I ever imagined but everything I hoped it would be. It’s full of hard conversations, tough realizations, and harsh realities. Although I miss back home and even desire to be there at times, I would not trade this experience for the world. God told me this is where I needed to be. He told me I would have to make some sacrifices and surrender some things. He didn’t promise me this year would be easy, but he did say…It would be totally worth it.
