Sometimes I wonder why me…God why would you choose me? Why would you use me? Why do you still love me? but mostly… it’s Why has (…….) happened to me? My mind is boggled sometimes at the thought of “If we serve a loving God, why does (…..) happen?” Are we being punished, are we reaping what we sewed? Where is the rhyme or reason why bad things happen to good people? Why do children get raped? Why do mothers have to burry their kids? Why is there hunger, famine, and tragedy that sweeps our nation? Why God?
God has really been trying to get my attention lately. So much so that he had to intervene in a big way. I was leaving work last Friday, with a list a mile long of things to do in preparation for the weekend. It was the weekend of my big yard sale, to raise money for WR. lots of scurrying, organizing, and planning. on top of working. too much to do in too little time. So I am pulling out of work, I notice my steering wheel would not turn…that was not going to stop me…I had entirely too many things to do. God, I don’t have time for this I said. So I proceeded to drive on to my destination. Home for me was 45 min away, and I was determined to get there. Unbeknown to me, my belt had come completely off track which caused my battery light to come on… my car was just fully out of commission at this point. Thankfully a near by autozone was where I finally rolled to a stop. As if this situation was not frustrating enough, this store nor any store any longer manufactured my parts, I needed a dealership, a lot of money, and a miracle at this rate. My patience were wearing thin and my often optimistic attitude quickly reverted to pessimism. I was so frustrated with God. Why me? What could you possibly be trying to show me Lord? Meanwhile I had made some phone calls, letting my mom know I was ok, letting my boss know I may not have a car to get to work the next day, and trying to figure out a way home so this yard sale was not a bust! My super hero Aunt and Uncle volunteered to rescue me from my distress. Some time went by and I was worried, I called them to see their ETA, and to my dismay my aunt informs me my uncle’s truck had broken down on the way to me. Really God? What’s next? well…my aunt still had her working reliable vehicle so she came to get me and we went back to my stranded uncle 5 miles down the road. Thankfully we had 15 minutes until autozone closed, my aunt and I scurried to buy a tow strap and some oil. Her V6 sequoia hauled his F250 45 minutes back home in the other direction. We left my car in the lit up parking lot awaiting to be towed. luckily my aunts dad was a mechanic and offered me a sweet deal to tow and fixer up. Truthfully at this point I half way hoped the thing would just get stolen. On the way home in silence, my angry prideful uncle calls my aunt, sitting in silence on the other end of the line he finally says” you know sometimes it’s like God has to take us down one notch just to remind us that he is in charge” Then it hit me, God was not “doing this” for cruel punishment. He was just trying to get our attention. It was the only time I actually stopped and listened, (because I had to, I had no other choice, and nothing else was consuming my time) God wanted mine and my uncles FULL, UNDIVIDED, attention. And he got it. The symbolism made me laugh after the fact.. my power steering was the cause of all this. God is in control of the wheel. He Is the power steering of our life. Without him nothing else runs efficiently. God was simple taking the wheel and reminding me he was in charge, despite my long to do list.
The night was long, and I was tired, not excited to get up at 5 am to prepare for this yard sale. Yet still grateful for the opportunity to have one, I tried to find my optimism again. And more so grateful for sweet friends that let me borrow their car until mine was back to normal. The yard sale was a success $400 more dollars to my WR total, and we donated the left over stuff to a ministry organization nearby.Fast forward I get my car back Wed. good as new! all is fine and dandy, that next Friday I made a late night trip to Walmart to buy some last minute things for my busy weekend. All of a sudden smoke starts billowing from under my hood. Seriously God, is this real life? Again? At this point I’m beginning to wonder if God is even with me anymore. My luck just went from some to none. A nice gentleman was walking out of Walmart and noticed I needed some help. He proceeded to pop my hood and educate me on the damage. My radiator hose was overheated and busted. Leaving me stranded. Being that is was 10:30 at night the automotive dept. was closed. My plans were again put on hold. All I could think about was my Weekend plans and how God was messing everything up. The gentleman walked me back out to my car and told me if I went the next morning to autozone and got the parts, he would gladly put them on for me in a jiff! Him and his wife were truck drivers and were sleeping in their rig for the night parked at Walmart. My first phone call was to my sweet friends who let me use their car the week prior. They dropped what they were doing and ran to my rescue, letting me borrow their car once again. Thank goodness for such angels! The next morning I got up ready to roll, went to autozone, got the parts, and headed to Walmart. The gentleman and his wife were already up and waiting on me. It took him 5 minutes to reassemble my car and I was back in business! I hugged him, thanked him, and offered to pray over him and his sweet wife. They were a Godsend and that was the only thing I could really do for them. After our prayer I hugged them goodbye, and the wife slipped a small paper in my hand. I put it in my pocket and hugged them again and drove away. At the red light I opened the paper, my eyes filled with tears and my heart with joy, after hearing about my troubles and my upcoming mission journey they decided to bless me with a generous $500.00 check. My heart was so full, and all I could think about was how mad I was at God. God why? I prayed. Why me? What are you doing in the midst of this frustration. He was trying to prepare me for a blessing, one that may not of come had I not had car trouble. He was trying to get me to sit still long enough to hear him, talk to him, and thank him for what I DID have.
We often get so caught up in the frustration we don’t see the blessing. God promises us he will never leave nor forsake us, and he meant it. NEVER. Even in the midst of the storm he is there, holding our hand. He is busy preparing us for what he has already prepared for us… If we would just find time to talk to him, listen to him, and thank him. We would see our blessings are many and our worries are few. He promises us plans for hope and a future, not disaster. ( Jeremiah 29:11) He promises he who starts a work is faithful to completion. Despite our lack of understanding, and our plans, and our timing. God is busy behind the scenes, working out all the intricate details. Details we don’t need to know about. He loves his children and only wants what is best for them.
It may not look like it, but God is always working on our behalf. He works everything together for the good of those who love him, those called according to his purpose. Even when we doubt him, and question him, he is ALWAYS faithful. He had to take my power steering, dismantle my car, and bust my radiator hose to get my attention…To remind me, I needed to slow down. Stop being so busy. Listen. and remember I’m on HIS time, and HIS plan is better than mine.
I wish he would get my attention in other ways sometimes, but that is the beauty about God. He works in mysterious ways, and he sometimes doesn’t do things the way we want. We often want what we want when we want it but God has a different agenda, and a timeline we will adhere to whether we like it or not. In our minds sometimes God does not meet our expectations…But God has to come short of our expectations, so he can exceed our expectations. His word says so many times repeatedly, “you do not understand now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” Sometimes we may not know the answers or the Why behind it. That’s not our job. It’s Gods. Our Job is to Trust him in ALL things, like his word commands us and to seek FIRST the kingdom of God, and everything else will be laid at our feet.
